It took more than a week to write a blog post about “doing one thing to prevent overwhelm.” Whether it’s a holidays thing or “life during a pandemic,” it feels easier than ever to lose focus, get distracted, and put things off. In order to prevent overwhelm and avoid getting stuck, try to focus on doing one thing.
The Concept of “One Thing”
Whenever clients feel stuck, I introduce the idea of “one thing.” Sure, you will do a large number of things on any given day. But do you do the right things? Can you identify the most important things? If your to-do list always contains more than ten items, where should you invest your time?
If you already know the most important thing you need to do today, great! What do you have to do to complete it? Your one thing may be as big as spending a few hours of quality time with a child who is struggling in school, or as short as taking three soothing breaths before you ask your boss for a raise. What do you most need today? A nap? Completion of a task? Movement? An exercise from Kristin Neff’s book, Self-Compassion?
One of my clients decided to set aside time to make an important phone call she’d put off for weeks. Another keeps a full water bottle handy to diminish dehydration. A third, who snacks frequently during the day, added a few nuts to each snack or meal to increase satiation. Mine for today was to launch a blog post about The One Thing and I’m (happily) minutes away from hitting “publish.”
How to Identify What’s Important
To identify your daily “one thing,” first write (or type) your long list of to-dos, especially if worrying about it is causing you to lose sleep. Keep the list somewhere safe so your brain can relax.
The Eisenhower Matrix
Next, narrow today’s list to the top ten. Place each item into one of four quadrants, known as the Eisenhower Matrix: those tasks that are 1. Important and Urgent, 2. Important and Not urgent; 3. Unimportant and Urgent, and 4. Unimportant and Not urgent. Focus on the important “do” and “plan” categories only.
Look at the items in quadrants one and two. Identify THE MOST important and urgent thing in each. Is there something in the planning quadrant that will help you save time in quadrant one? What do you need (time, resources, conversations, manpower) to do your one thing? Of the tasks you come up with, what first step can you take in the next five minutes? the next hour? Do you need someone’s help?
Do Today’s One Thing to Get Unstuck
Take that first step. That’s today’s one thing. The beauty of finding your one thing is this: once you get started, you build positive momentum. You teach yourself that even when your list is 75 items long, you just made progress. How do you climb a mountain? ONE STEP AT A TIME. How do you get unstuck? The same way, one step at a time. When you are stuck, your top priority is to move, to take a step forward. Any step. Get out from underneath that huge “overwhelm” boulder.
This Week’s Top Priority For Me
To identify what my “top priorities” were this past week, I looked back over what I did. The cliche, “Hindsight is 20-20,” definitely applies: it’s easier to see the path you were on than to know which path to take forward. I find it a useful way to discover your values and priorities.
Thursday mornings I volunteer at the Zoo. Last week Friday (a rare sunny December day in Seattle) I prioritized being outside and did some long-overdue yard work. On Saturday I focused on spending time with my daughter; we volunteered at a school fundraiser to get her some community service time. Sunday, family day, we tidied the house and decorated for the holidays. I returned my focus to client sessions and writing group meetings on Monday. Tuesday I spent the day on my fiction. And Wednesday (today) I focused on clients and non-fiction, this blog post.
Take-aways
I see now that every day my “one thing” changes — which is perfectly fine. I no longer focus 100% of my time on work to the exclusion of exercise and self-care. And as my client load increases, I no longer focus solely on leisure (hikes and volunteering) approaching the start of a new year.
As for my goals, even though my blog is a few days later than planned, I’ve found that using the idea of “one thing” has provided me a balanced foundation in wellness, health, family, contribution, and sustainability. If using the “one thing” idea works for you, I’d love for you to leave a comment and share with our “getting unstuck” community.
Great post Courtenay! A trove of good and actionable advice, especially for those of us who do have a history of getting overwhelmed and stuck. I plead guilty to that one…
My wife and I used a version of the Eisenhower Matrix in the early phases of the pandemic as we had to rethink our lives almost on a daily basis as new/better information surfaced (our running list at that time hovered in the 50 items range). In that particular situation, having the matrix to guide us provided a much needed sense of control and power over the external circumstances.
I could not agree more about your “once you get started, you build positive momentum” statement. As I keep working on ticking items off the list, my “get-things-done muscles” start feeling toned and strong, just as my leg muscles do when training every day or so. After a while, a ‘craving’ for doing today’s thing develops as well… and related withdrawal when “doing” is delayed. I have developed a habit of working on getting things done early in the day so the rest of that day is “free to play” instead of worrying about when I’ll get to what I need to do. I do have to confess, however, that I sometimes wait for “important” and difficult/time-consuming items to slowly work their way to the “urgent” category before giving them my full attention; then I have flashbacks about cramming for my year-end exams 😊 In such circumstances, I try and break the BIG thing into smaller components when possible.
OK, I am done with today’s “thing”: read the latest blog post and write comment! Time to play…
Thanks, Gerard! Today’s, for me, was a painful one, something I’d put off for several weeks. Can’t say I’m “happy” that it’s happened, but I am relieved that it’s done and I don’t ever have to go through it again. Next on my list is massive strong, positive self-care so that I don’t fall into the pit of despair and loss. So glad to hear reading and commenting on my blog posts is on your “urgent and important” list (smiling) and that it gives you fodder for future decisions. Onward, upward, forward!
One thing at a time is a great concept. I use it all the time, every day. At work, at home, on a long hike. One step at a time help you not to get overwhelmed. I keep my to-do list very short..3 things on the list, no more. And keep it simple. Over the years, my list is almost just one thing. I love to simplify everything. Complication is not part of my life. My key focus in my life is one thing – focus on yourself first. Self care and compassion to yourself first. Take care of your mind and body. Great article, Courtenay.👍
Thanks, Silvie-Marie! A to-do list of three things? That’s amazing. When mine crept up to twenty this week I knew I had to bring myself back to reality to move forward. Nobody can do twenty things, well! But one? Very doable. Appreciate the comment! Keep on prioritizing and moving forward!