How to Be Happy Now: Stop Chasing Elusive “There”

I’m guilty of thinking, “When I do X, then I’ll feel happy.” This week, I gave a one-hour seminar on nutrition for hikers and trekkers, a process that began in August and spanned three months. I thought I would be thrilled to talk to a large group of people and elated to develop a new course. And I was. But a day later, I caught myself wondering “What’s next?” Chasing future achievements often means we miss the delightful present, which is all we have. So how do we shift from chasing the future “there” to being happy now?

On November 9 I helped with a WTA Trail maintenance work party at Kasch Park in Everett. I left muddier than I can ever remember. I also met some super people. That day, working hard, and trying to stay warm, I was truly happy and not worried about anything in the future.
On November 9 I helped with a WTA Trail maintenance work party at Kasch Park in Everett. I left muddier than I can ever remember. I also met some super people. That day, working hard, and trying to stay warm, I was truly happy and not worried about anything in the future.

Why “There” Can’t Make Us Happy

Think of something you’re pursuing. It might be a new job, a bigger house, a fitter body, or an adventure you’re training for. We probably all have some future milestones we’re shooting for, some “there” that matters to us. I have another coming up on Saturday: a hike with a dozen Mountaineers members that will result in being added to the official hike leader list once I complete it.

Yet I know that as soon as I finish it, a new “there” will emerge. Probably along the lines of “How many hikes can I lead in 2025 to earn a Superleader badge?”Achievement of goals is fleeting. They don’t last. Or if they do, we may find ourselves extending the finish line. “Once I lead x hikes, then I’ll be happy.” Wait. If happiness doesn’t exist in the future, how do we find it now?

Rays of sun peek through the trees, turning yellow leaves to gold during a recent walk with Ajax to Hamlin Park. As my stress levels dropped I recalled being happy now.
Rays of sun peek through the trees, turning yellow leaves to gold during a recent walk with Ajax to Hamlin Park. As my stress levels dropped I recalled being happy now.

In Search of Happiness Now

The trick is to find a way to tap into mindfulness and awareness of where happiness falls in the moment. During a recent WTA work party on the Licorice Fern trail on Cougar Mountain, I was excited to learn how a new trail is created. After spending a few hours expanding and leveling an existing trail (aka, lots of digging and root chopping), I meandered over to where a few orange hats (crew leaders) were creating a bypass. I got curious and asked questions.

When the King County trails worker went through the woods with a chainsaw, I followed safely behind and removed the downed branches, stumps, and logs she sliced through. I caught myself humming. During that moment, helping create something future hikers would enjoy, I was happy.

Creating a brand-new trail is hard, satisfying work. The bypass we built followed the pink flags to the left. I helped clear the path for diggers to prepare the soil.
Creating a brand-new trail is hard, satisfying work. The bypass we built followed the pink flags to the left. I helped clear the path for diggers to prepare the soil.

Another example was enjoying a 5-mile urban walk with my dog Tuesday morning before a bomb cyclone hit the region. We meandered along trails in Hamlin Park. It was my celebration outing for completing my talk the night before.

Once we turned off the city street and ventured onto the dirt trail, I felt my blood pressure drop. Stress ebbed away. My shoulders relaxed. I could hear the birds, smell the dirt, and feel the sun’s rays warming my back. If you know anything about me through 3.5 years of blogging, I celebrate all of my major accomplishments with a visit to nature. It is truly my happy place, whether I’m hiking in the mountains, walking with my dog, or building new trails.

Your Turn

Since we are a week away from Thanksgiving, a national US holiday involving gratitude, I thought I would provide a week’s worth of action tips to explore. As you practice each, take note of what makes you smile. What brings you delight? What do you notice about your physical body and mental outlook as you practice them?

Finding this patch of "red snow" in Hamlin Park made me smile. I knew I had a great photo op with Ajax.
Finding this patch of “red snow” in Hamlin Park made me smile. I knew I had a great photo op with Ajax.
  • Pause to notice small joys: Feel the sun. Give a kind word. Enjoy a moment of stillness.
  • Engage with your surroundings: Immerse yourself in tasks or nature. Go on a color walk. Take a picture of your favorite shape or color and share it with someone. Listen to the birds.
  • Reflect on daily wins: write down or mentally acknowledge what went well today. Anticipate what might go well tomorrow.
Our task at Kasch Park was to decommission a trail so that the wetlands could recover. Moving logs that took four people required teamwork and common purpose.
Our task at Kasch Park was to decommission a trail so that the wetlands could recover. Moving logs that took four people required teamwork and a common purpose.

More Joy Tips

  • Practice gratitude: Reflect on one thing you’re grateful for today. Running water. Restored power. A pretty floral design in your neighbor’s yard.
  • Move your body: Engage in a physical activity you enjoy, whether it’s a walk, yoga, stretching, or dancing. Movement helps release tension and grounds you in the present moment.
  • Focus on your five senses: Experience your environment, not only what you see but the textures you touch and the temperatures you sense, the sounds you hear, the scents around you, and the flavors of a meal. This sensory awareness brings you into the present moment.
  • And finally, do for others: Perform a small act of kindness, like sending a letter, calling a friend, or picking up something someone dropped. Helping others can boost your sense of connection and purpose.

Reframe “Goal Seeking” as “Connection Opportunities”

One way to reframe our “there” goals is to seek opportunities for connection, something I plan to focus on for 2025. In 2024 I changed my thinking about a “marketing plan” to a “connections plan.” Connections opportunities included becoming a national board-certified health and wellness coach, doing trail work with WTA, becoming a hike leader for the Mountaineers, creating new materials I could deliver in talks, and diving into the Zhealth curriculum in neuroscience. All of them involve becoming better equipped to help people or giving back to the community in some way. The trick is to remember to keep connections as the focus.

Hugging trees makes me happy. Fresh air, good company, exploration of somewhere new... what's not to be happy about?
Hugging trees makes me happy. Fresh air, good company, exploration of somewhere new… what’s not to be happy about?

After completing my presentation, I asked for feedback about where I might improve for next time. At work parties, I learned first-hand how trails are built by helping those with more experience. By using neuroscience-based exercises in my training sessions, not only am I teaching people about what works best for their bodies but I’m also learning how to improve workouts. When I lead hikers to Otter and Big Creek Falls on Saturday, I’ll demonstrate how to stay safe in the mountains, no matter what the outcome is. Such moments of connection are happiness in action.

Choose Happiness Today

How can we remind ourselves that there is no “There”? Happiness is here, in the daily journey, not the destination. We can look for joy in small moments and train our skills to identify happiness the moment it happens. If we reframe goals as part of the process, and not the sole purpose, we can remove the pressure to succeed and find success along the way. And by focusing on connection with others, with nature, and with ourselves, we can shift that “there” focus to appreciating what is here and now.

Connections between friends on a rainy, wet trip to Big Creek Falls.
Connections between friends on a rainy, wet trip to Big Creek Falls.

We don’t have to wait for happiness. It’s already all around us, waiting for us to notice. What happiness have you noticed in small moments? Share it in the comments so we can all benefit from our collective experience.

How to Thrive Alone: Facing Challenges on Election Day

On Tuesday I escaped to the mountains to avoid the growing tension around national elections. I planned to hike to Thompson Lake via the Granite Creek Trail and ended up adding a stop at Granite Lake, too. This hike allowed me to gauge my physical and emotional progress in 2024. What’s more, I enjoyed an early snowfall. I never would have guessed back on August 21, during my first solo hike without Ajax (you may recall my encounter with three bears) that I could thrive alone merely ten weeks later.

The boulder field above Thompson Lake was covered in 3-4 inches of snow.
The boulder field above Thompson Lake was covered in 3-4 inches of snow.

Facing Unexpected Elements

From my weather research, I expected a break in the storms. But forecasts are not always accurate. Especially in the mountains this time of year. The first challenge I faced was to prepare for anything.

Mine was the only car in the parking lot Tuesday morning when I headed out just before 7 a.m. I’d hiked part of the Granite Creek trail twice this year, once with Ajax before his injury, and the other with my daughter. For the first hour, things looked promising. At the waterfall halfway between the bridge and the Thompson/Granite Lakes Junction sign (what I will refer to from here on out as the Junction), it started to sleet, forcing me to pull out my waterproof jacket. Fortunately, it didn’t last long.

First Snow!

Once I passed the Junction, I could see a trace of snow collecting on the ground. Sleet turned to big fluffy flakes the higher I went. I smiled, as I prefer snow to rain any day of the week.

A deer track?
A deer track?
Animals use trails as the paths of least resistance, too!
Animals use trails as the paths of least resistance, too!

The snow grew deeper, reaching 3-4 inches by the time I reached the dark woods between Thompson and Granite Lakes. Tracks appeared in the snow — deer, rabbit, perhaps fox? A trip report from 3 days prior said they’d turned back at the ridge above Thompson Lake. The world grew muffled until I could see only my tracks. Another smile. I had the mountain all to myself.

Progress and Distance

The second challenge I faced was the distance of the hike. Completing 14.2 miles with 3400 feet of elevation gain solo is a lot, particularly in November. There aren’t as many people on the trail in case something goes wrong. Daylight is shorter. The weather can get dicey. And snow can mask the trail, slowing you down even more.

I did it! I reached Thompson Lake solo in the snow, a trip Ajax and I tried earlier this summer.
I did it! I reached Thompson Lake solo in the snow, a trip Ajax and I tried earlier this summer.

But I’d hiked several 13-mile routes in the past few months. What’s another mile? I was having such a great time, enjoying the freedom of the hills, that I wasn’t in any hurry to return to reality. What surprised me, however, was my willingness to jump from 13 to 16 miles.

What’s Another 1.5 Miles?

That’s right. I added a side trip to Granite Lake, tacking on 1.5 miles to the 14.2 I’d intended. I was there, I felt strong, and my pace was solid, so I went for it. At the lower elevation, snow turned to rain. After a quick bite, I returned along the muddy trail to the junction, encountering a woman with two dogs who told me she wasn’t feeling particularly energetic. I shared some beta about both trails before wishing her luck.

For the final mile, the sun joined me. I’d had everything — sleet, hail, wind, rain, snow, and sun. And the clothing and knowledge to handle it all. The metaphor was not lost on me. The more tools and experience we have to handle the complexities of life, the more options we have to roll with whatever comes up.

Previous human tracks by some natural benches before entering the dark woods between Thompson and Granite Lakes. Snow depth was about 3-4 inches.
Previous human tracks by some natural benches before entering the dark woods between Thompson and Granite Lakes. Snow depth was about 3-4 inches.

Not only was I physically and mentally prepared for a 16-mile day, but I could do it with the trail covered, in driving hail or drifting powdery flakes, or in bright sunshine, all with a smile on my face. Adding that extra distance showed me what’s possible when I’m fully engaged and enjoying the journey. Invincible!

Counting Streams, Missing Companionship

My third challenge was filling seven hours without Ajax or a friend beside me. Three activities helped. The first was keeping track of stream crossings. A few years ago during a winter hike to Pratt Lake, my friend Tonia and I mimicked the Sesame Street muppet, the Count. He took such delight in counting lightning strikes. I did the same, counting water flowing across the stream. Between the bridge and the waterfall, I counted 15. (15 wonderful water features! Bwahahaha!) From the waterfall to the Junction, there were 22.

The second activity was studying animal tracks as I hiked, imagining the prints compared to what Ajax leaves on our walks and guessing where the wild creatures might be in the middle of the day. And the third was listening closely for any birds. My favorite moment of the entire hike was when I paused briefly on the climb from Thompson Lake back to the ridge.

When you hike alone, you can't take any photos of people. So I look for delight in the landscape, from mushrooms to heart rocks to snow prints and downy woodpeckers.
When you hike alone, you can’t take any photos of people. So I look for delight in the landscape, from mushrooms to heart rocks to snow prints and downy woodpeckers.

I heard a faint twitter and glanced around, wondering what bird could be making that sound. There! Tap tap – a woodpecker! Finally, I spotted it, then smiled when I saw two downy woodpeckers chittering softly at each other as they foraged for insects under the bark. captures the bittersweet reality of growth—learning to move forward independently while still holding onto fond memories of past companionship.

Support of Preparation

My fourth challenge was making sure I had the right gear for an all-day solo outing. During my scouting trip to Big Creek Falls, I shared the story of having a degraded cell phone battery, rain gear that wasn’t waterproof, and no way to charge my phone. Although going all day meant carrying more weight, I barely noticed it. Fortunately, most of the grades on this trail were quite gradual.

At Granite Lake, I decided not to linger too long as snow turned to rain.
At Granite Lake, I decided not to linger too long as snow turned to rain.

On this trip, my gear did beautifully. I had gaiters, microspikes, and trekking poles, a water-resistant coat (which I wore most of the time), a down coat (which I never used), a pack cover (which I pulled out as the snow turned to rain), plenty of food and water, a wool hat and gloves, and even a sitting pad.

Even though I did not use everything, I had it if I needed it. Just as we equip ourselves for hikes, we can build resilience for life by gathering the right skills and tools for our journey.

Beauty and the Balm of Nature

On election day, I desired self-soothing. I found it in the mountains. During my seven-hour trip, I encountered a total of five people and three dogs. Each person was hiking solo. Nobody discussed politics, only the conditions on the trail. Mother Nature is a wonderful equalizer.

A heart rock I found for my mother.
A heart rock I found for my mother.

I challenged myself mentally and physically and came back feeling revitalized. Personal growth, like this hike, is often a solo journey with ever-changing conditions. Every mile built confidence. Each stream crossing reminded me that I was making steady progress. And each type of weather was an opportunity to embrace change.

The final mile in the sun represented the light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever our struggles, wherever our journey takes us, I firmly believe there is always hope. For growth, for learning, for beauty, and the healing balm of nature. I wouldn’t have it any other way. May you find your ray of sunshine, hope, and empowerment this season of Thanksgiving.

How to Boost Your Energy in a Season of Change

For the past two weeks, I have provided moral support to my parents in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene. Our country faces an upcoming election unlike any other. As the light fades in the northern hemisphere, we prepare to shift clocks this weekend, which means the days for longer hikes grow fewer and farther between. And the holidays are just around the corner. How do you cope with mounting stress? What if you could boost your energy by pursuing what you love, getting creative with your adventures, or slowing down? That’s exactly what I tried.

On October 22, I visited Gold Creek Pond (above), The Tunnel, Lodge and Beaver Lakes, and Franklin Falls, uniquely combining four adventures into one lovely day.
On October 22, I visited Gold Creek Pond (above), The Tunnel, Lodge and Beaver Lakes, and Franklin Falls, uniquely combining four adventures into one lovely day.

I also looked for inspiring quotes, including this one by Abraham Maslow: “In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.” While safety may feel desirable, in this season of change I find myself choosing growth.

Boost Your Energy 1: Have Novel Adventures

Despite everything going on — or, more truthfully, because of it — I spent as much time as I could exploring new trails in new situations. If you haven’t noticed by now, I adore hiking. It feels like I’m a bud opening and thirsting for more. The links are to WTA trip reports if you care to learn more.

Peaks at Snoqualmie Pass are reflected in Beaver Lake (Exit 52/Hyak) on the Pacific Crest Trail.
Peaks at Snoqualmie Pass are reflected in Beaver Lake (Exit 52/Hyak) on the Pacific Crest Trail.

Spooky Snoqualmie Tunnel

Three of these eight adventures stood out to me. On October 22, I linked together four shorter hikes (1-5 miles each) for a 14-mile day. I never realized that short driving breaks could boost your energy and leave you wanting more.

SPO-OO-OOKY! The Palouse to Cascade Tunnel at Exit 54 is worth exploring.
SPO-OO-OOKY! The Palouse to Cascade Tunnel at Exit 54 is worth exploring.

The Iron Horse Tunnel hike with the Mountaineers was perhaps the most memorable. The Tunnel at Exit 54 is 2.3 miles of mostly flat, packed gravel and requires walking by headlamp. When we got a mile in, we could only see a pinprick of light on either end. Someone had set up a few scary dolls in anticipation of Halloween.

We collected trash, talked and laughed, and stopped at each alcove to see what we might find. It’s a unique sensory experience with a great echo that everyone should try once. It also meant I was one step away from being a hike leader.

Big Creek Falls

On a rainy Saturday, two friends and I headed up the Middle Fork of the Snoqualmie to scout out the trail to Big Creek Falls. I had just posted a listing for my upcoming mentored hike before leaving. By the time I got home, the hike had already been filled, with people joining the waitlist. It proves how much need there is for off-season hike leaders to step up, a task I plan to take on come December.

I am now fascinated with new-to-me places. Why has it taken me so long to leave all the familiar trails? “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” The mountains have more to teach me about leadership, courage, and adventure. But perhaps a better question is, “What adventures lie ahead in 2025?” I’m ready.

Need a way to boost your energy? Visit Big Creek Falls. It already has flowing water and is well worth the visit.
Need a way to boost your energy? Visit Big Creek Falls. It already has flowing water and is well worth the visit.

Our Big Creek hike taught me that my jacket is not waterproof; my phone battery was corrupted and no longer held a charge for a 3-hour hike; and I needed both a backup charging system and a dedicated car cord for my phone. Tech has never been my strong suit, but with a big enough WHY I have solved these problems and more.

Shelton View Forest

My third example of restful novelty came as a surprise. Need to boost your energy? Try visiting somewhere you’ve never been before. Shelton View Forest is a gem about 20 minutes north of my house. Ajax and I found a little of everything: 3 old cars. A Little Free Library with books in good repair. Rocks painted green and labeled with plant identification names. A “Telephone of the Wind” poem memorial. An Eagle Scout eagle’s nest.

Three cars are being reclaimed by nature.
Three cars are being reclaimed by nature.

Roots are painted orange for easier visibility in the fallen leaves. Boxes in a fairy garden offer kids arts and crafts projects. Ten benches beg to be enjoyed. Sense of humor signage (“wet way, other way”) made me giggle. Steep ravine walks burn the quads in an interval workout. And at the bottom of the ravine, solitude and silence await. 

The sensory experience of the flat Tunnel walk, the Big Creek Falls scouting trip, and the delightful gem with Ajax made these three stand out above the others. All were new to me. None was physically demanding. Getting outside to enjoy nature and re-create ourselves can happen in many ways. We don’t always have to set a new PR (personal record), cover more distance, or carry more weight. Sometimes we can just go for the sake of exploring and enjoying ourselves.

Beautiful signage for local plants.
Beautiful signage for local plants.

Energy 2: Prepare for Something Scary

Another thing I love is helping people. The hike at St. Edward State Park last Wednesday provided a spark of energy. I had arranged ahead of time to join an outdoor exercise class to get comfortable with the participants. At the end of the class, I asked what kinds of questions they had about trekking nutrition. With their input, I am developing a free online class that will air before the end of the year.

The last time I spoke in front of more than 2-3 people at a time was pre-pandemic, so I felt nervous. But that energy helped me prepare suitable questions. When the day arrived, I joined the fun for two hours. It felt quite natural to segue into a 15-minute question-and-answer interaction at the end, listening to their needs. Brief but satisfying, especially since I may have found another niche I can fill.

Fall beauty energizes me. I love going on color walks, color hunts, and explorations in October, my favorite hiking month.
Fall beauty energizes me. I love going on color walks, color hunts, and explorations in October, my favorite hiking month.

Each baby step toward growth helps me build confidence in a way that feels authentic. Just challenging enough to energize me, rather than shut me down. Instead of thinking, “There’s no way I can do this,” I now tell myself, “I’ve succeeded at each previous step. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Try making a list of simple things that boost your energy. Then include them regularly.

Boost Your Energy 3: Support Others

The third source of energy in the past few weeks has been finding diverse ways to support others, whether taking people on hikes or incorporating neuroscience into training sessions. And my parents updated our family on a video call to get us all on the same page. I’d been struggling to find a way to support them since my week-long in-person visit got canceled. Imagine my delight when my mother asked if I’d be her self-care accountability partner.

I dove in with 100% energy. I sent care packages. Cards. Texts with movement ideas from a color walk to a “leave a book, take a book” at a local little free library. My mother thanked me for the support. Things felt like they were going great.

Snow dusted the nearby peaks of Snoqualmie at Exit 52.
Snow dusted the nearby peaks of Snoqualmie at Exit 52.

Clues to Back Off

But when a day or two lapsed in communication, instinct kicked in and I backed off. The last thing a coach wants to become is a nag. After a traumatic experience like living through a hurricane, a desire to return to normal is very strong. But the reality is my parents have numerous demands on their time. Like getting potable water daily. They may have phone service and electricity, but they’re still surviving. It may be another six weeks before they can think about returning to thriving.

Perhaps the best way to offer support is to let someone know I’m here in whatever capacity they need. Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. While it may give me energy to support others, if the people I am trying to help withdraw, could it mean I’m trying too hard? I have let go of a few friendships that are too one-sided, with me putting in all the energy while getting little back. Like seasons, maybe relationships also ebb and flow.

Yes, Ajax still gets to go with me on adventures. But I limit him to under 8 miles and relatively tame elevation gain.
Yes, Ajax still gets to go with me on adventures. But I limit him to under 8 miles and relatively tame elevation gain.

Boost Your Energy 4: Slow Down

When life spirals out of control, sometimes the best thing you can do to boost your energy is to slow down. Rest gives us the strength to face what’s next, whether that’s dealing with family, confronting community challenges, or starting new personal ventures. If I feel overwhelmed and pressed for time, my go-to energy booster is to take off my shoes and sit outside in my yard for a short period of grounding. In the rain, I use an umbrella. If it snows, I use water from my hot tub to melt a patch of snow.

What is your go-to method to slow down and reconnect with yourself? This season, permit yourself to pause. Rest is not a retreat; it’s the way forward. I’d love to hear your re-creating, rejuvenating strategies for the holiday season. Leave them in the comments so we can all learn.

Fall brilliance makes October my favorite month for hiking.
Fall brilliance makes October my favorite month for hiking.

Turn Challenge into Strength: Shift from Doubts to Wins

This week featured outings to Otter Falls and Tiger’s Poo Poo Point. Challenges that once felt intimidating (solo hiking and hiking with strangers) have become familiar. My new challenges are returning to public speaking, developing new content, and testing neuroscience-based training methods with several clients. As I build skills in exploring the mountains in new ways, I am teaching my brain that whatever challenge I face today will become familiar tomorrow, no matter how scary it feels. You are never too old to learn, grow, and change.

Beautiful fall colors at the Issaquah Community Center where a group of 8 of us participated in a hike to Tiger Mountain's Poo Poo Point via the High School Trail.
Beautiful fall colors at the Issaquah Community Center where a group of 8 of us participated in a hike to Tiger Mountain’s Poo Poo Point via the High School Trail.

Celebrate What You’ve Accomplished

Last week’s disappointment faded into the background as I continued to face new challenges. When my hiking partner chose to wait for us in the car on Tuesday, Ajax and I explored the trail to Otter Falls ourselves. While I would have loved having company, I also embrace the newfound confidence I get exploring new trails. Visiting Granite Creek in June–my first solo new-to-me hike in years–opened the door to new possibilities. Now, I embrace exploring new trails by myself. Growth!

Fall colors - just a hint - at Otter Falls off I-90's Exit 34.
Fall colors – just a hint – at Otter Falls off I-90’s Exit 34.

On Friday, I joined a group of strangers for a new-to-me area of Tiger Mountain, Poo Poo Point via the High School Trail. I hiked to Poo Poo from the Chirico Trail last July 4th but hadn’t ever started from the Issaquah Community Center. Friday’s route is more interesting and less crowded than the Chirico Trail. Win! We had rain on both days, but rain no longer bothers me. I have evolved into a four-season hiker (strong wind is the main deterrent now) and look forward to leading hikes with the Mountaineers soon. Another win!

Non-Hiking Challenges

I’m also stepping into new challenges such as returning to public speaking and incorporating neuroscience into training sessions with clients. My resistance decreases with each step forward. All of these changes require the ability to adapt and move forward despite challenges. We can’t expect to make progress in huge leaps. Instead, it comes in micro-movements. It often feels like I’m moving at glacier speed, barely perceptible, until some nudge causes part of me to break forward, never to return to the previous state. Embrace change wherever it comes from. It’s a sign of growth and resilience.

Ajax looks out over the Middle Fork of the Snoqualmie River on the Otter Falls trail in the rain.
Ajax looks out over the Middle Fork of the Snoqualmie River on the Otter Falls trail in the rain.

Takeaway: Look for Successes

Consider the past week. Make a short list of big events, appointments, conversations, or meetings you had. Was there anything new that you’ve never done before? How did it go? If not, how might you plan something new for the coming week? What can you celebrate from the past week? Give yourself time to visit a different store, explore a new park, or try a food or recipe you’ve never had before. Having new experiences fuels our brains and expands our lives.

Use a Challenge as Proof of Strength

One of my biggest unexpected successes occurred while I worked with a client. He shared a new problem with his foot and what he’s tried to help it. Mentally sifting through my neuroscience material, I tried several experiments and then asked him to remove his shoes. It turns out his narrow shoes had been creating a sore spot on his little toe. He showed me where he’d modified his insert and I had him experiment with sliding his fingers between tight toes to return them to their normal position. We discussed the possibility of getting shoes with a wider toe box to see if it helps.

Fall is mushroom season in the Pacific Northwest.
Fall is mushroom season in the Pacific Northwest.

Later that afternoon he called, ecstatic. He’d visited three stores and finally acquired toe separators and a new pair of shoes. Delighted, he shared his success story: “I felt so powerful doing yard work all afternoon. It’s a miracle. Tell everyone about that toe separator trick, it works!” Big win!

Building Blocks

Despite previous doubts about whether I’ll ever master the thousands of hours of new material, I now see that ANY improvement is a win. I took a chance integrating the new material with years of client experience and it paid off. Any of the exercises I can teach successfully means victory. And the more victories my clients have, the more forward momentum and confidence I build.

More mushrooms!
More mushrooms!

While frustration can feel like a setback, perseverance builds resilience. Try to remember to use challenges as proof of your strength. If you can organize a hike, maybe you can use the same skills to organize a class. If you can eat well at home, perhaps you can use some of the same skills to eat well during travel. Skills are skills; the challenge is to tap into your creativity to use them in new ways.

Takeaway: Look for Learning Lessons

Look back on last week. Where were you challenged? Now that you’ve got some space away from the challenges, ask yourself: What did I learn? What could I do differently next time? What proof do I have that I am growing and becoming more resilient? If we see our challenges positively, we can move forward rather than stay stuck.

Reframe Self-Doubt into a Doable Challenge

How can we conquer self-doubt? Instead of seeing it as a barrier that prevents you from moving forward, perhaps you can frame it as a sign that you’re expanding outside of your comfort zone in meaningful ways. Self-doubt seems to be a natural part of any growth process.

We can view nervousness before public speaking as dread and anxiety, or we can frame it as excitement. The physiological response is the same: A nervous stomach, shallow breathing, faster heartbeat. But the words we use or the stories we tell ourselves (see any of Brene Brown’s research if you’re intrigued) help our minds feel better or worse about a given experience.

Three co-leaders enjoy a snack at Poo Poo Point. My next challenge after Tuesday's hike will be doing a mentored lead.
Three co-leaders enjoy a snack at Poo Poo Point. My next challenge after Tuesday’s hike will be doing a mentored lead.

To practice reframing doubt, try journaling about what is going well. In other words, identify your Gains rather than getting stuck in the Gap. You can spend more time on preparation, such as outlining and practicing your talk; scouting out new hikes before you lead them; and trying exercises on friends or family before you charge clients for a session. And you can share what you think with mentors or peers who can provide objective feedback. They can help you identify and grow your strengths rather than focusing on weaknesses.

Takeaway: Look for Your Unique Skills

Think about the last challenge you had that was similar to one you’re feeling doubtful about. When I get nervous about public speaking, I envision all of the times in the past that I’ve done well, rather than the two that didn’t go well. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, analyze what you did to succeed and put those skills and habits into practice with this new challenge. Remind yourself of the many ways you’ve succeeded. You will at this, too.

Focus on Your Vision

Finally, focus on your long-term goals, also referred to by health and wellness coaches as your wellness vision or mission statement. Remember why you’re trying to do the things you do. I impressed myself this week with how clear my reasons are and how easily I can explain them. Instead of hearing the question, “What will this do for you?” and replying, “I have no clue!” I can succinctly say why I’m doing certain things. That’s a HUGE win.

More mushrooms encasing vines of ivy.
More mushrooms encasing vines of ivy.

What is your life purpose? What is your Big Why? Can you come up with some process goals rather than outcome goals? If that feels too daunting, pick a smaller area of your life and come up with one change you might improve. That may be as basic as drinking 64 ounces of water a day, or as complicated as getting an advanced degree by the time you turn 60.

Whether you want to help your family, get another credential, pick up a new hobby, or lead a group into the mountains, look for what gives you energy and spend more time there. If you feel no spark of energy for what you’re considering, it might not be the right thing to pursue.

Takeaway: Mine the Energy

Get comfortable with a good cup of your favorite hot beverage and then take a few deep breaths. Then, without censoring yourself, write down 20 things you are interested in learning more about. Don’t let the editor get in the way, just let your inner child play. When you get to 20, get up and leave your list alone. If you reread it now, you might find fault with each item. Put it somewhere you can look at it with fresh eyes.

One thing that gives me energy is exploring new-to-me trails. This public art is one of six installments by Thomas Dambu's called "Jakob Two Trees", part of his Northwest Trolls, Way of the Bird King. See www.nwtrolls.org for more.
One thing that gives me energy is exploring new-to-me trails. This public art is one of six installments by Thomas Dambu’s called “Jakob Two Trees”, part of his Northwest Trolls, Way of the Bird King. See www.nwtrolls.org for more.

Then 1-2 days later, pick it up again. Study it. What pops out at you as the most exciting, the item with the most energy? What step can you take today to start pursuing that high-energy item? You owe it to yourself to pursue your dreams. I’m so close to finishing the requirements to get back to hike leading, and every hike I go on makes me itch for more. I’m chasing that energy and feeling stronger every time I go back to the mountains. You can find that same energy if you trust yourself to do so.

Personal Growth: How to Balance Progress and Pain

Following our phenomenal two-week trip to Iceland, I dove headfirst into two packed weeks of growth. I wanted to capitalize on the beautiful weather and fall colors October brings to the Pacific Northwest. Growth events included a 3-day writers’ conference in Edmonds, critique group meetings, client sessions, lunches and walks with friends, and a handful of mountain adventures.

The biggest event in my month of connections was going to be a week-long visit to Asheville, NC to see my parents. Unfortunately, Hurricane Helene wreaked havoc on their home. I had to postpone my upcoming trip indefinitely. During a time of so many fun things, how can I get past the one giant disappointment? By focusing on what went right.

We enjoyed fall colors and sunshine on a Mountaineers' hike to Monte Cristo Ghost Town on the Mountain Loop Highway.
We enjoyed fall colors and sunshine on a Mountaineers’ hike to Monte Cristo Ghost Town on the Mountain Loop Highway.

Growth: Embrace Small Wins and Community Connections

This was my thirteenth year (six years as a paid attendee and seven volunteering) participating in Edmonds’ Write on the Sound (WOTS) writers’ conference. As a senior member of the planning committee, I agreed to help host the online portion of the conference. This happened to be a day after I learned about Hurricane Helene’s devastation in my parents’ hometown.

I kept myself focused on the task before me on September 28, and again the following weekend for the in-person part of the conference. My tasks included introducing speakers, guiding lost participants, and evaluating sessions, among others. I also had several opportunities to connect with my accountability partner, Elena Hartwell Taylor.

My accountability partner, Elena Hartwell Taylor (of Allegory Editing) has been instrumental in my personal growth. Here we catch up over lunch at Write on the Sound 2024.
My accountability partner, Elena Hartwell Taylor (of Allegory Editing) has been instrumental in my personal growth. Here we catch up over lunch at Write on the Sound 2024.

Novel Writing Revisited

Attending the conference also renewed my interest in working on a manuscript that I shelved when I started my blog. Being a part of an intellectual community gives me a sense of creative purpose and reminds me why I write in the first place: To learn about what matters to me.

My online critique groups have also provided me with valuable insights on several pieces I shared. All eight of my writing partners seemed thrilled to learn that I wanted to give my novel another try. I am blessed to have the depth of support I do. In difficult times our community is critical to our mental and emotional well-being.

Fostering new social ties in the mountains while hiking to Monte Cristo ghost town.
Fostering new social ties in the mountains while hiking to Monte Cristo ghost town.

Venture Outdoors with Leadership Growth Potential

My alpine adventures in October have included a solo hike of Mt. Teneriffe, a return to McClellan Butte with two friends, a small group outing to Monte Cristo, and a trail work trip on the Wagon Train Trail near Franklin Falls.

Morning rays peek through the forest and fog high on Mt. Teneriffe. I entered this photo in WTA's fall photo contest.
Morning rays peek through the forest and fog high on Mt. Teneriffe. I entered this photo in WTA’s fall photo contest.

Each represents growth beyond my comfort zone. Teneriffe was a solo 13-mile, 4100′ gain trip that I completed in six hours. I had the mountain to myself except for two people I saw half an hour from the trailhead. Two friends and I hiked McClellan Butte on a Saturday, including part of the very exposed scramble at the top. There were maybe a dozen cars in the parking lot when we finished.

Our rainy 6-person hike to Monte Cristo’s Ghost Town confirmed how much I long to lead trips again. This time, hikes rather than climbs. Not only did the participants get along great, but I loved sharing my knowledge and skills with multiple people. With luck and good weather, I should complete my mentored hike by the end of November so I can lead off-season outings with the Mountaineers.

My friend Susie followed me up part of the scramble on McClellan Butte with Mt. Rainier behind us.
My friend Susie followed me up part of the scramble on McClellan Butte with Mt. Rainier behind us.

Trail Maintenance: A Different Kind of Exercise

The trail maintenance trip introduced me to a group of seasoned veterans with years of experience. Even though I can hike for six hours or more, doing demanding physical labor for the same amount of time is a different story. It reminded me of my time volunteering at the Woodland Park Zoo mucking out the giraffe barn and raking leaves on the savannah, another period of growth.

The WTA crew introduced me to trench digging, trail widening and narrowing, bridge flossing, rock hauling, root removal, and wood chip shoveling. I loved the satisfying feeling of accomplishment — that “Look what I helped create!” feeling — as we surveyed our work on the return to the cars. Now I can say I’ve helped beautify trails at my favorite place along I-90: Exit 47.

Getting a primer on all the WTA tools we might have to use at Wagon Train Trail (Exit 47) off I-90.
Getting a primer on all the WTA tools we might have to use at Wagon Train Trail (Exit 47) off I-90.

What’s more, all four alpine experiences deepened my commitment to getting outdoors. It helps that we’ve had gorgeous weather. Have I mentioned how much I adore October in the Pacific Northwest? I have since added two hikes to complete the requirements for leadership. And with luck, I’ll participate in other trail maintenance trips this fall.

Balancing Professional and Personal Growth

An area that has proven challenging during the past month is professional development. Sometimes I struggle to apply the new neuroscience material I’m learning. I don’t handle frustration very well. And neuroscience feels as complicated to me as rocket science.

But every time I find something that makes a difference to a client, it feels as rewarding to my brain as trail work and hiking are to my body. Am I generating new neurological pathways? I’ve been told that struggle leads to mastery. If we’re not struggling, we cannot grow. I’m trying to remember to embrace the pain as a way to move forward.

Our fearsome threesome after a day hiking McClellan Butte.
Our fearsome threesome after a day hiking McClellan Butte.

As I try new challenges, sometimes my sleep quality and self-care time decrease. Not good. Particular physical therapy exercises, grounding, eating healthy foods, and practicing mindfulness keep my engine running when I do them. My challenge is making sure I keep a balance between challenge and restoration. To thrive means doing mentally challenging tasks while also ensuring I keep recuperative efforts.

Managing Anxiety

The day after the online portion of the conference (Sunday, September 29) I tried to reach my parents without success. Their power, water, landline, and cell services were all knocked out. A powerless feeling settled around my neck and shoulders. I wanted so badly to help, to comfort them in some way, perhaps by extension, comforting myself.

Evaluating the Elements of Scene master class taught by Jenny Bartoy at Write on the Sound, 2024.
Evaluating the Elements of Scene master class taught by Jenny Bartoy at Write on the Sound, 2024.

I dove into physical chores: draining and scrubbing the hot tub; scouring the basement shower; raking and sweeping using tools my parents sent a few years ago. Logically, I knew none of those chores would help them. But they allowed me to think grateful thoughts and send healing wishes across the country. Now that I know they’re physically okay and their house is under the care of a general contractor, I feel a release of some anxiety.

Navigating Disappointment and Finding Perspective

On Friday, my mother texted an update to me and asked to FaceTime. At the same time, United Airlines sent a second change in my flights. This time, however, they booked me on flights I never would have chosen myself. As I tried contacting my mom, I had a sinking feeling I’d have to postpone my visit. Too many signs were telling me to delay travel.

Sure enough, my mom told me about the house damage and contract work starting during the proposed visit. They wouldn’t have running water until (at the earliest) the very end of my week-long visit. To make things worse, while we talked, my husband had to start a work call, cutting our call short.

My lovely parents enjoyed a sushi restaurant when I last visited them in February 2024. Love you guys!
My lovely parents enjoyed a sushi restaurant when I last visited them in February 2024. Love you guys!

Understanding the Hidden Message Behind a Craving

Emotionally drained, missing my parents, and feeling very sad, I almost succumbed to a primal urge to binge on chocolate. You crave connection, not chocolate, my inner voice whispered. Aha, connection – to myself, with others. Chocolate wouldn’t help. Another growth opportunity!

Instead, I took Ajax for a long walk and tearfully focused on taking deep breaths. I enjoyed a lovely lunch with a dear friend. My husband and I played ping pong and enjoyed a movie night. And I started counting my blessings.

Delicious trail food - homemade pad Thai - works way better for my body and mind than trail mix and chocolate right now.
Delicious trail food – homemade pad Thai – works way better for my body and mind than trail mix and chocolate right now.

One silver lining was learning about the airline’s cancellation policy (security is my Achilles’ heel). Because United had already made two changes to the ticket, I was eligible for a full refund. Knowing I wouldn’t be out that investment helped. I took my journal to the backyard to ground, letting Mother Earth do her job to center me, and gradually, I felt better. Working on this blog post and focusing on gratitude got me to the point this weekend where I almost felt giddy about the many good things in my life. Growth in action.

Choosing Gratitude in the Face of Change

While I may not get to connect in person with my parents as planned, rather than dwelling on that setback, I can focus on everything going well. Over the past two weeks, I met some potential new hiking partners, including one who might be someone I could co-lead with. I found a new way to give back to the mountains and my hiking community by helping maintain and rebuild trails.

The middle-grade novel I set aside three years ago has drawn me back with renewed interest and excitement. My husband and I are studying a neuroscience curriculum that is challenging me mentally and physically and has the potential to provide enormous benefits to my clients.

Beautiful fall colors below the stunning peaks surrounding the ghost town of Monte Cristo.
Beautiful fall colors below the stunning peaks surrounding the ghost town of Monte Cristo.

Takeaways

Can I spin the big negative into a positive? My folks will likely have running water in another month, so I could look for dates in early 2025 for a visit. By then, they’ll have the roof repaired and guest bedrooms fixed. Not only will they be able to enjoy visitors, but the restaurants and community of Asheville will have more time to re-establish equilibrium after pervasive flood damage.

We can’t change natural disasters. But we can change our reactions to them. My parents are fortunate: they live outside of the flood zone. They have each other and their physical health. Their community is banding together in creative, unique ways. And while they have a hole in their roof, their house still stands, intact, with phone, cell, and electrical services restored.

Ajax poses in front of a beautiful tree in the Arboretum this morning on a walk-and-talk with a friend.
Ajax poses in front of a beautiful tree in the Arboretum this morning on a walk-and-talk with a friend.

My parents have endured a lot. They’re resilient. And patient. I’ll have to be, too. So, I will turn my focus toward strengthening local connections within the Mountaineers, WTA, colleagues, clients, and my writing community. I know that I’ll visit Asheville again when the timing is better. We cannot choose the timeline, but we can choose our attitudes about it.

If you have examples of shifting your attention away from negatives and toward gratitude, share them in the comments so we can all learn. I love hearing from readers!