Following a wonderful ramble with a friend on Friday, I got some upsetting news over the weekend. But with snow in the forecast, I tried not to let it derail me for more than a few days. In this post, I share a few strategies for remembering what matters most so we keep making forward progress, inch by inch, even during the most challenging times.
Shape Your Environment
Whenever we want to change a habit, the easiest way to do so is to alter our environment to support our goals. For example, if your goal is to reduce systemic inflammation and the habit you want to build is staying hydrated, you might set an action item to drink two liters of water every day. Try filling several water bottles and leaving them everywhere so they’re easy to grab.
Place one at your desk. Keep one in your car. Put several in the refrigerator to chill. Store one in your backpack when you go for a hike or head to the gym for a workout. If you want to make your hydration habit more fun, consider purchasing a “motivational water bottle.” Such gimmicks work because they tap into your playful inner child who WANTS to see the bottle change when it’s empty, even though plain water may not be your favorite.
Another way to shape your environment is to place sticky notes with “DRINK UP” all around the house to remind you of your goal. Whenever your eyes land on one, find the nearest water bottle and take a sip. You can also set alerts on your phone or watch so that whenever they buzz, you chug. Any other favorite drinking games? Include them!
Create a Rough Schedule
When overwhelm threatened to shut me down, I made a list of things I wanted to finish. I’m aware that my lists are always impossibly long, and I’m working on that. This time, I starred the items I NEEDED to complete. Tasks with set deadlines like client work. Items I’d promised I would do. Things that were important to me in terms of my values and priorities.
Once I narrowed the list down to the nine highest-priority items, I assigned the approximate time I would need to complete each one. Note that times assume I’m paying complete attention, not multitasking.
Assign Time Allotments for What Matters Most
You may have your own unique strategy for making lists. My husband likes to put open boxes or bubbles next to items that he fills when he’s done. My list looked something like this:
- Client revision in 15 minutes Due Tuesday
- Client summaries for 15 minutes Due Tuesday
- Practice 3 songs on the piano for 10 minutes
- Complete one online lesson in 20 minutes
- Write one assignment for 15 minutes
- Work on the landing page for our new website for 30 minutes
- Choose 8 pictures for Blog 81 for 20 minutes Due Tuesday
- Walk Ajax for 30 minutes
- Write, edit, and submit 8 pages to the critique group ??? Due Friday
Include Wiggle Room
Barring interruptions (like sneaking in a few games on my phone) and adding half an hour for dinner, I realized I could complete most of my tasks. I did the items that were due that day first and gave myself permission to post my blog a day late. As long as I did something to move it forward, I was okay with that.
The creative writing assignment was my “big unknown.” It’s “important (to me) but not urgent.” Knowing my process, however, I wanted to get a draft done so I could let my subconscious work on it overnight. After spending several hours on it in the evening and an hour the next morning, I got it done. That left this blog post.
The takeaway: For me, the simple process of prioritizing items and assigning time stamps helped me to accomplish far more than if I’d only had a vague idea of what I wanted to get done. Write it down. Plan it out. “A failure to plan is a plan to fail” certainly appears to be true.
Get Support for What Matters Most
In addition to shaping your environment, making a list of top priorities, and assigning approximate time values to your tasks, it’s important to find appropriate support. That might be from a coach, a friend, a relative, an accountability partner, or even a support animal. My monthly walk-and-talks with a writing friend remind me to continue to expand my world, not only with Ajax but also with the people who are most important to me.
Do you have any helpful tips for readers about shaping your environment to support your goals? How about creative strategies around keeping lists? Share them in the comments so we can all learn.
Thank you for the grab-bag of useful “tricks” to stay focused on what matters most to us. Staying properly hydrated is definitely on my list of “could do better”; as I have a few Nalgene bottles on hand, I will experiment with the “easter eggs approach”, scattering them along my regular glide path through the house. As for the constantly changing list of items clamoring for my attention, I too have found lists to carry me safely through those times when I feel at the edge of imploding just thinking about all I have to do. Putting it down, in and of itself, provides an immediate relief: I don’t have to make sure I hold it all in my head without forgetting anything. Prioritizing frees up my mind further by only worrying about smaller, more easily workable, chunks. Prioritizing ensures that I align my actions with what matters most, not with what I feel I can address easily/quickly (instant gratification is not always the way to go… but sometimes I use it in small doses to boost confidence). Putting a checkmark for each item I complete provides a sense of accomplishment that lasts longer than when I just hold it in my mind (I see these closed items the next time I look at my list), etc. I don’t use lists ALL the time, only when I feel that my ability to juggle everything in my head, day to day, is on the heading towards total collapse. “Wiggle room” is also a precious tool, especially, as you describe it when posting the blog a day late, when it is a reminded to practice KISAGE here as well; our to-do list works better when it does not feel to us like orders barked by a machiavellian drill sergeant, but instead like the firm but loving advice of a parent, mentor, partner… willing to cut us some slack when we’ve already made commendable progress. Last but not least about this blog post… thank you for the wonderful illustrations! In particular the Paradise (so funny to look at all the snow creations you pepper your posts with) and the Olympics… destination of my backpack in mid-September.
Brilliant, Gerard, thanks for the comment. I smiled when I read your phrase “Machiavellian drill sergeant,” something my inner “should” voice becomes at times. Another tool I may discuss in a future post is having a dialog between “the child self” and “the adult self.” Note I did NOT say “parent self” as “Parent” and “adult” voices are different. And I’m delighted you enjoy the snow creations. For those who don’t know, I grew up in Milwaukee where large snowfalls in winter were the norm. Anytime we get “packable” snow, I feel I must play in it — who knows when we’ll get another opportunity.
Most of all I like your idea of “lists” being only a tool for sometimes — if we become “slaves to the list” we are always thinking about the future, and part of the challenge for many of us is learning to live in the moment, to be mindful and present NOW, but when the mind becomes overwhelmed a brain dump can help.
Appreciate the post!
Onward, upward, and forward!
You nailed it, Courtenay. To make a list, set priorities, time and dates are all important if you want to accomplish what you want to do. If you care enough about your goal, it should be as important as eating, exercising and sleeping. Like for me exercising and hiking is as important as eating and sleeping. When you miss a day or step, just start again, it’s ok.
Thanks for being such an inspiration.
Thanks for the comment, Silvie-Marie! And thanks for reading. Your point, “when you miss a day or step, just start again, it’s OK,” is SO important — too many folks get down on themselves and give up. The only way to fail on a goal is to quit. Keep on keeping on!