CourtSchurmanGO.com 2024-11-22

How to Follow Doctor’s Orders: Go Hike

On Tuesday, my Naturopath told me she thought I needed to go visit my happy place, preferably with lots of greenery. I didn’t need to be told twice. It had been a month since I’d been out hiking, which is way too long for me to go without. I blamed the scorching heat in July and illness in early August. But I knew she was right: I needed a healthy dose of the mountains. I drove with Ajax to Exit 47 and we enjoyed a lovely overcast 12-mile hike to Island, Rainbow, and Olallie Lakes. It matched my doctor’s orders perfectly.

Doctor's orders: go for a hike. View looking south over Olallie Lake toward Mt. Rainier. The fog in the background obscured this lake on the way back; I'm glad I took a moment to snap this shot when I did. — Doctor’s orders: go for a hike. View looking south over Olallie Lake toward Mt. Rainier. The fog in the background obscured this lake on the way back; I’m glad I took a moment to snap this shot when I did.

How Solo Hiking Fills Doctor’s Orders

About a month ago, I wrote about nine joys and benefits of solo hiking. I discovered new ones on my most recent trip to the mountains.

Hiking Is a Form of Meditation

If you’re anything like me, you probably roll your eyes and scroll past this paragraph to see what the other benefits are. Seriously? Meditation? Trust me, I am not one to sit in cross-legged position or stare at a candle saying “Ommmm.” If walking can be meditative, then my closest form is hiking. I listen for birdsong, guess how close we are to running water, study the landscape for spots of color, or watch my dog for signs of squirrels, rabbits, picas, marmots, woodpeckers, or deer.

When the trail bends away from the highway and civilization drops away, I notice the change in sounds. And I can tell when we’re about to come up on other hikers. Hiking turns on my mindfulness and makes me pay attention like nothing else in the city does.

Hiking is a form of meditation. It helps me put things into better perspective. Seeing this enormous Douglas fir against the tiny but mighty Ajax makes me realize that we are all interconnected, and in that one moment we were all enjoying the same space in the forest. — Hiking is a form of meditation. It helps me put things into better perspective. Seeing this enormous Douglas fir against the tiny but mighty Ajax makes me realize that we are all interconnected, and in that one moment, we all enjoyed the same space in the forest.

Hiking to Handle DRY: Dealing with Real Yuck

If I can’t make heads or tails out of what my life has become, or I’m afraid to move forward on something daunting or scary, hitting the trail with none other than my dog is one of the most therapeutic things I can do. In her book, Rising Strong, Brene Brown writes, “We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.” As I swatted at mosquitoes and struggled up the dusty trail, covered head to toe in light cloth in order to prevent bug bites, I was able to “center myself” again. I returned to the state of a human being, rather than doing.

Ajax at Rainbow Lake on August 9 in the fog. I may arrive at the trailhead with brain fog, but I nearly always return to the car with clarity.

Hiking is a Great Way to Create

Almost invariably as I make my way up the trail, I think about my WIPs (works in progress) or future blog posts. I let my mind wander while my body does what it has for over thirty-five years. By feeding myself new sensory input — different things to look at, smell, listen to, and feel — I allow the right side of my brain to make new connections, which helps me clear away the brain fog and clutter. By snapping photographs and asking myself targeted questions, I usually come home with a direction for my next blog post.

Hiking Becomes a Form of Gratitude

One of my practices on the way back to the car is to rattle off all the many things I am grateful for, from those people (and animals!) who make my life as rich as it is, to the wonderful things in my life from my health, strength, and home to the opportunities I have to hike in the middle of the week and play whenever I need to.

Doctor’s Orders: Make Time to Soak the Feet

I also had several new-to-me experiences on this hike. The first was bringing a book so I could take a reading break at Island Lake. I had Dusti Bowling’s 24 Hours in Nowhere with me, a novel set in the dry dusty desert of the southwest. At the three-hour mark, I waded into Island Lake, then sat and read a chapter of my book while Ajax watched for chipmunks and squirrels. Four female backpackers and a couple with a dog had just left their camp spots, so we had the lake all to ourselves. What’s more, the half hour I spent without boots on meant my feet felt 100% recovered the next day. Win!

New-to-me experience of soaking my feet in Island Lake while reading a chapter from a book.

Follow the Leader

The other new-to-me experience was following my dog’s lead twice. When we left Island Lake, I debated whether to continue right toward the car or left toward Rainbow Lake. Ajax turned left, and I decided not to call him back. Who was I to tell him no? We were both doing great and the bugs hadn’t been too bad at Island Lake.

Then at the Olallie Lake signpost 90 minutes from the car, he turned right instead of left. I figured he would have no trouble going another mile. So, we did. However, when he wanted to turn right toward Talapus Lake, I put my foot down. He had turned down all three offerings of food and I was starting to worry about him. We went back toward the car.

A sprig of beargrass in front of Rainbow Lake in the fog.

Return to Blogging

I originally intended to start blogging again in September once I return from Alaska. But I couldn’t wait that long. Blogging about change helps me make consistent changes in my own life. And with a daughter about to enter college, I know I am going to need the continuity to stay grounded.

My intent is to post on Thursdays going forward, but I will miss August 25 and September 1. Know that we have returned to semi-consistent posting. And if you have topics you would like me to address, please leave a comment below. I love to hear from my readers! Onward, upward, forward!

Fog-draped Rainbow Lake. Hikes always help me steer through the murkiness to greater clarity.

How to Accomplish Your Goal and Handle Anticippointment

A reader recently asked if I could provide strategies for dealing with the “let-down” that comes from accomplishing your goal. Many of my Body Results clients are having adventures this month and will be facing the question, “What’s next?” I, too, have reached a major milestone: this is blog post 50 in as many weeks. Below are some resources, suggestions, and strategies that might help.

A local artist painted the walls of this music building in North Seattle. What's the secret to keeping the celebration going after accomplishing your goal? — A local artist painted the walls of this music building in North Seattle. What’s the secret to keeping the celebration going after accomplishing your goal?

What Is Anticipointment?

I first stumbled upon the blended word, “anticipointment,” (anticipating disappointment) in Dana Simpson’s graphic novel, Unicorn Playlist, Another Phoebe and her Unicorn Adventure. In it, young Phoebe tells her sparkly unicorn buddy that she enjoys the anticipation of the holidays, but she also knows she will feel let down after the festivities are over.

Because I love playing with words, I created another phrase: “post-venturum depression.” (Think postpartum depression in a mosh pit with adventuring.) It describes the mental struggle some thru-hikers feel after completing their multi-day adventures on the PCT, CDT, or AT. Climbers sometimes experience it after reaching summits like Mt. Everest, Denali, Aconcagua, and Kilimanjaro. I imagine backpackers attempting the Wonderland Trail and alpinists taking multi-day trips up the Cascade volcanoes might, as well.

Descending from the summit block of Eldorado the summer our daughter turned six. We went from leading more than fifteen climbs in 2003 to once a year when we became new parents. One goal evolved into another. — Descending from the summit block of Eldorado the summer our daughter turned six. We went from leading more than fifteen climbs in 2003 to once a year as new parents. One goal evolved into another.

Goal Turned Into a Career

My first encounter with “anticipointment” came just after my first Mt. Rainier summit. As a graduate student at the University of Washington, I was used to competing in 2-5 km crew races (which last minutes), not high-altitude climbs (which require days). As soon as I got home, exhausted from the adrenaline rush of crossing narrow snow bridges over gaping crevasses, I told myself I’d never do that again.

And yet, several days later, the mountain peeked out from the clouds, and I knew I was hooked. That burning desire led to joining the Seattle Mountaineers later that summer. I’ve since climbed Mt. Rainier eight times, along with dozens of other peaks in the Cascade Mountains. For nearly 25 years I have devoted time helping others enjoy the thrill of adventuring in the mountains safely. What started as a weekend goal with classmates turned into an entire career.

Parenthood

However, it’s hard to do glacier climbs — which involves being away for more than a day — with a young child at home. I replaced climbing with motherhood. I also cut back on my work hours in order to give my daughter every possible opportunity.

Parenting never ends; it merely changes according to life stages. When my goals have changed, a “cure” to avoid any slump includes enjoying every bit of the journey and focusing on the GAINS rather than the GAPS. Hiking with my dog Ajax has replaced climbing, at least temporarily. Blogging replaced fiction writing, at least temporarily. Seeing the many achievements and abilities of the delightful young person we’ve raised has no equal. So how am I preparing for the next stage?

Getting a child successfully through elementary, middle, and high school is a huge adventure. Parenting doesn't end there, but after eighteen years it definitely changes significantly. — Getting a child successfully through elementary, middle, and high school is a huge adventure. Parenting doesn’t end there, but after eighteen years it definitely changes significantly.

Beyond Accomplishing Your Goal

Wanda Thibodeaux of Inc.com suggests five ways to move on after reaching a milestone. Her advice is incredibly accurate.

Be involved in multiple projects. In my case, I had my fingers in the writing, coaching, climbing, home ownership (and all that entails), and parenting pies.
Know what you will focus on next after you reach the primary goal. I admit this is trickier the longer you’ve been working toward a goal. For nineteen years I’ve been focused on being the best mom I can be and raising a wonderful daughter. Will the goals I had before still fit? Doubtful. But I am already looking for the next thing.
Reflect on what you’ve learned. I do a lot of journaling about how my life has changed at various stages.
Explore neglected parts of yourself. Writing, hiking, coaching, and feeling deeply have all been skill sets I’ve been developing for the past few years, in anticipation of having more uninterrupted time both alone and with my husband.
Help others. Writing a blog, coaching, and volunteering all allow me to pass on tidbits that have worked for myself and for those I have been fortunate to coach.

Glacier Peak from above the cloud line on Eldorado, 2010. When you only get one climb a year, you put everything into it.

Accomplishing Your Goal: Seeking New Direction

Kristin Wong, from Well and Good, mentions three additional strategies that I plan to implement in this new phase:

Enjoy the time between goals. The question becomes: HOW MUCH time will I put between blog posts 50 and 51? As long as it takes.
Determine what you are really after AND WHY. If you want to be a creative person, find ways to do that daily. If you want to be physically active, find something you love and do it regularly and consistently, whether that’s walking, swimming, doing yoga, dancing, or hiking. Someone who wants to be a giving person might volunteer. If you want to keep hiking after your big thru-hike, research fun places you want to explore in the shoulder or off-season and keep going.
Explore something new. Since three big goals will end for me this summer — sending our daughter to college, completing a year of blogging, and visiting Alaska — I am prepared for a challenging September. I’m already exploring. Books to review. Hikes Ajax and I might do. Manuscripts to dust off. Friends to reconnect with. Ways to change my blog. Places my husband and I can explore together. This is not an end, merely a change. And as my husband so aptly put it, “If you embrace change as an opportunity to move forward, rather than an indication that something is broken, you can find joy anywhere.”

Sunset on Rainier. The end of one chapter means another is starting. Accomplishing your goal can inspire new ones. What will YOUR next adventure be? Join me for mine. — Sunset at Camp Muir on Mt. Rainier. The end of one chapter means another is starting. Accomplishing your goal can inspire new ones. What will YOUR next adventure be? Join me for mine.

The Next Chapter

When we enjoy the process and path on the way to the goal, we are less likely to “hit a slump” and more likely to flow to the next thing. Combine that knowledge with the wisdom from the Gap and the Gain, and you can pause, celebrate your WINS, and keep looking for your GAINS. As Nelson Mandela so succinctly put it, “I never lose, I either win or learn.” If my blog has helped you in any way, please comment below. I love to hear from readers.

How to Ditch the Scale For Improved Results

This post may be one of the hardest I have tried to write because of my love-hate relationship with the scale. As a teen, I loved when the scale number went down. And I hated the confusion that arose when, despite best efforts, it went up. Before I knew any better, I sometimes stepped on mine multiple times a day. I didn’t understand that weight can fluctuate several pounds from morning to night. Worse, I fell into the “good” and “bad” trap, sometimes getting knocked flat by a number my young brain interpreted as “too high”. (According to whom?) After decades of struggle, one day I finally realized it was time to ditch the scale.

Grizzly bear Steve at Woodland Park Zoo. Zoos use scales to assess body weight as one of many health metrics and to adjust nutrition according to life cycles. — Grizzly bear Steve at Woodland Park Zoo. Zookeepers use scales to assess body weight as one of many health metrics and to adjust nutrition according to animals’ life cycles. Human scales should come with instruction manuals.

What the Scale Measures

A typical scale measures how much mass your physical body has in earth’s gravity. Nothing more, nothing less. It cannot tell you anything about your intrinsic value, your personality or skills, or how you manage crises in the real world. A digital Tanita scale uses bioelectrical impedance to supply information about body composition, but only if the user is properly hydrated. A recent online article in Forbes estimates that 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. So at best, scales provide a snapshot of relative trends rather than absolutes. At worst, they can destroy delicate self-esteem, especially in teens whose bodies are changing hormonally and growing into their adult forms.

Weighing Frequency

What does a healthy relationship with the scale look like? My husband weighs daily with no obvious disordered relationship, as far as I can tell. As a trainer and coach, it seems to me that stepping on once a month at the same time of day might provide a useful reference point. While I never ask clients to weigh themselves, I do occasionally provide body fat testing as a more useful gauge of wellness. It seems to me that scales do more harm than good. Maybe that’s a reflection of who comes to me for help. Regardless, scales should come with kisage instructions on proper use.

Three obvious exceptions to my monthly guideline come to mind. If you are pregnant and concerned about gaining too much weight, then weighing once a week seems reasonable. At my Ob-GYN visits during my pregnancy, I regularly turned backward on the scale and asked my provider to let me know about anything of concern. When she mentioned that I was gaining weight too fast, I adjusted my behavior. I never needed to know the raw number.

Greater one-horned rhinoceros Glen at Woodland Park Zoo. If you know you have an unhealthy weighing habit, consider whether it's time to ditch the scale. — Greater one-horned rhinoceros Glen at Woodland Park Zoo. If you know you have an unhealthy weighing habit, consider whether it’s time to ditch the scale.

Likewise, someone recovering from severe dehydration may need to weigh more frequently to assess whether they are properly replenishing their fluids. And if someone is unable to eat (i.e. for surgery or other medical procedures) weighing more frequently for a very short time period can help the person return to stasis.

Lag Effect

What about the supposed “lag effect”? Years ago a client asked how he could climb Mt. Rainier in the heat of the summer, only to see a higher number on the scale the next day. I asked what he ate during his three-day climb. The answer: salty snack foods such as pretzels, nuts, beef jerky, chips, and so forth. Aha!

High-sodium snacks cause fluid retention, resulting in a temporary increase in scale weight. The same thing can also happen from eating FODMAPS foods or cruciferous vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, and Brussels sprouts, all of which can cause bloating for some people.

Bumi, Woodland Park Zoo's male Malayan tiger. — Bumi, Woodland Park Zoo’s male Malayan tiger.

The same client stepped on the scale several days later, after resuming normal eating. He experienced what I have dubbed the “lag effect.” His weight had dropped below his baseline. Had he been on a monthly weighing routine, such microdetails would not matter. The overall trend does. It goes without saying, but if someone is hiking purely to lose weight, they may engage in harmful practices. Getting dehydrated puts them at risk of making bad decisions. Improper fueling could put their whole team in jeopardy.

Ditch the Scale; Use Common Sense

If you ate too much the previous day, you already know it. What will you gain by seeing a scale number? And really, so what? Today is a new day. Your goal should be to ensure that you make better choices. If you feel like you are dehydrated, you don’t need permission from a scale to drink more water. When did we lose trust in ourselves? Who says Up equals Bad, while Down means Good? The media. Have you given away your power, mood, and choices to an inanimate $50 box? If so, how’s that going for you?

The author for scale next to a model T-Rex, Woodland Park Zoo summer 2021. — The author standing next to a model T-Rex, Woodland Park Zoo summer 2021. An appropriate use of “scale.”

Important Questions to Ask Yourself

If you use a scale more often than monthly, ask yourself these questions:

WHY do you get on it? Curiosity? Punishment? Habit? Interest in trends? Did someone tell you to?
WHAT other ways might you gauge today’s health and wellness? Sleep quality? Mood? Alertness? Appetite?
WHAT will you gain by knowing today’s number? Can you skip without consequences?
WILL seeing an unexpected number impact your mood or negatively influence your choices? If so, give yourself a pass. Gauge your progress in other ways.

Water Lily and Guadalupe enjoying a swim at Woodland Park Zoo.

How to Gauge Progress If You Ditch the Scale

The best ways to gauge progress without using a scale are:

Clothing fit – are your favorite clothes tight? That may be a sign to reduce intake or increase movement. Try to remember that building lean muscle mass may change how clothes fit.
Appearance — especially in a photograph. People with an unhealthy relationship to the scale tend to have a skewed impression of their bodies. Looking in the mirror won’t change that but looking at a photograph may. You can also ask for feedback from trusted loved ones.

Glen and Taj, Woodand Park Zoo's greater one-horned rhinos, enjoying a swim. What would happen if you ditch the scale this summer? — Glen and Taj, Woodand Park Zoo’s greater one-horned rhinos, enjoying a swim. Can you ditch the scale this summer?

Bodyfat measurements – use a tape measure to record dimensions around the chest, hips, and waist. Repeat every three months.
Appetite — do you feel like eating everything around you? You may be missing key nutrients. Do you hate the thought of eating or hide your eating from others? If so, it may be time to talk to a trusted professional who can help you manage your thoughts and build new habits.
Mood — list five things you love about yourself. Keep track of affirmations that work for you. Incorporate other stress-relieving methods to help your body become its best self. And use a relative mood scale (the kind I recommend!) ranging from 1 (lousy) to 10 (awesome). That way, you can work on your whole self, both emotionally and physically.

Above all else, remember that thoughts are merely thoughts. You can learn to take control of them. If you get rid of your scale, you remove its power and start trusting yourself. If you have strategies for measuring improvement you’d like to share, please comment below. I’d love to hear how others have handled “the box of shame.”

How to Prevent Foot Discomfort for Hikers

A client and blog reader recently asked for tips to manage foot and ankle pain before and during hikes. Below are seven strategies to prevent foot discomfort, set against recent photographs of a hike to Olallie and Talapus Lakes.

A beautiful mid-week summer day at Talapus Lake.

Prepare for Uneven Terrain

Nothing beats physical preparation. To help prepare for the challenges of uneven terrain, incorporate single-leg balance exercises into your training routine. With some knowledge, you can train in the privacy of your own home with limited equipment. A challenging move I have been recommending for clients for the past twenty-five years is the one-legged deadlift. No need for fancy balance gimmicks or expensive gym memberships.

Ajax heads across the log bridge between Olallie Lake and Exit 47 along the I-90 Corridor.

Choose Proper Footwear

Authors have written entire books on this, so I only offer a few pointed suggestions. On Body Results’ website, I present questions about proper running shoes. But you can ask similar questions about your hiking boots. Consider trying orthotics or inserts such as Superfeet. They provide arch support or cushion for repeat days of hiking. Backpackers may find it helpful to have a pair of lightweight “camp shoes” to change into once they finish hiking for the day. These tips focus on preventing your feet from being locked into one position.

I prevent foot discomfort by wearing my favorite pair of trail shoes with a lightweight liner and pair of midweight wool socks.

Stretch and Strengthen to Prevent Foot Discomfort

On the GMB website JC Deen shares an ankle-stretching article with four exercises to combat stiff ankles. Another great movement for healthy lower body extremities is the ankle rocker. If you are hyper-mobile or you tend to roll your ankles, plan to strengthen your feet and calves to shore up vulnerable areas. Balance training such as the one-legged deadlift or step ups and step downs can help. Bring a lightweight ankle wrap as part of a first aid kit if you anticipate needing additional support.

Prevent Foot Discomfort by Caring for Your Fascia

Foam rollers are great to have in your gym, not only for rolling out tightness in the calves but also for maintaining healthy hips and back. Half-rollers can provide additional opportunities for balance training. Small, portable porcupine balls are great for backpacking. Rolling the soles of the feet over a knobby reflexology ball (ranging in size from golf ball to softball) can help release knots or trigger points. They can also help desensitize overly sensitive feet. If you have access to a sports massage therapist, they can help get at the root of what is causing tightness and pain. Finally, a group called The Human Garage offers a video for the self-care of ankle fascia.

Ajax cooling off his tootsies and quenching his thirst at the same time.

Include Variety

In an article I wrote years ago for the Body Results website, Numb Feet: Cause and Cures, I suggest varying foot positions on aerobic machines to prevent or limit numbness and tingling. Likewise, whenever you find yourself on an unrelenting slope (uphill or downhill) give your feet a break every so often. Try side-stepping, taking a few serpentine (zigzag) steps, smaller or larger strides, or even going backward for a short stint. Take a side trail to a viewpoint. Change the tightness or looseness of boot laces. Play with sock layering and sock thickness. Stop at that lake or stream and soak your feet in the cool water for a few minutes.

A friend makes her way across a stream crossing as we head toward Olallie and Talapus Lakes. One helpful tip to fix your feet is to take advantage of flowing water and soak them as needed during a break. — A friend makes her way across a stream crossing as we head toward Olallie and Talapus Lakes from Exit 47. Take advantage of the cold stream or lake water and soak your feet during a break.

Realign Electrical Energy to Prevent Foot Discomfort

To help realign your electrical energy at home or on the trail, take off your shoes and connect with the bare earth, an exercise called grounding. Barefoot walking on concrete, asphalt, or pavement doesn’t count (and blacktop on a hot day can scorch raw feet!), but walking on beach sand, river banks, grass, or soil all do. Swimming in the ocean, a lake, or a river counts, as well. Even sitting in the shade on a hot summer day for five or ten minutes without shoes on can help you discharge built-up energy. It might even help you reduce inflammation. But best of all, after a long day of hiking getting out of those boots feels great.

Polar Bear Plunge in Lake Washington, January 1, 2021. Talk about refreshing! Grounding doesn't have to be this extreme. — Polar Bear Plunge in Lake Washington, January 1, 2021. Talk about refreshing! Grounding doesn’t have to be this extreme.

Fixing Your Feet

One final resource for all things feet is John Vonhoff’s book, Fixing your Feet: Injury Prevention and Treatment for Athletes. And if nothing above fixes your problems, contact a podiatrist who might be able to help identify alignment issues or neurological problems, start you on a path toward overcoming plantar fasciitis or bunions, suggest appropriate support, or even recommend surgery. But do not give up hiking. There is help! Find the right solution for you, whether you are dealing with blisters, bunions, corns, or worse. The better your feet feel, the more enjoyment you will get on the trail.

Grounding is perfect for any season. This was taken in February, 2021 during a particularly rainy time when patches of our yard had standing water.

In late fall I shared a blog post about narrowly escaping injury in the Alpine Lakes wilderness. Injury in the mountains is always a remote possibility. But proper preparation, knowledge of your body, and safe practices (including making sure someone knows where you are) can all help alleviate worry.

I have even gone so far as using duct tape on my heels in a pair of boots I knew always caused blisters. I have since replaced that pair of boots, but I always have duct tape available just in case. Do you have a particular strategy for managing foot discomfort? Share your tips (and spread your knowledge!) in the comments box.

Rising Strong Lesson: The Story I’m Telling Myself

In her book, Rising Strong, Brene Brown uses a powerful phrase that resonates as much for me as advice from the Gap and the Gain (see recent blog posts). Brown, a shame researcher, talks about falling down and finding the courage to “rumble” or reset ourselves and get back up again. Anytime we feel exceedingly vulnerable when asking for what we need, she suggests using the phrase: The story I’m telling myself… I have already used her line a number of times in the past few weeks, with positive results.

Lemurs in Madagascar provide the perfect backdrop for "rising strong" as these remarkable primates are tree dwellers. — Lemurs in Madagascar provide the perfect backdrop for “rising strong” as these remarkable primates are tree dwellers.

Brene Brown’s Lake Travis Story

As an example of how this line works, Brown shares a story about swimming in Lake Travis with her husband Steve. In it, she tries several times to connect with him on a deep, spiritual level, without getting the desired response. The fiction she creates is that she’s slow. He doesn’t like how she looks in her Speedo. Or he no longer feels the same connection toward her after years of marriage.

Meanwhile, his own story involves dwelling on a recent nightmare about losing the kids in a boating accident. While he is preoccupied with trying to remain the strong, capable man she wants him to be, she’s trying to connect. When they finally talk about it later, she uses the phrase, “The story I’m telling myself…” It signals that she feels vulnerable and tentative, and may have created a false narrative. They both share their own interpretation of the moment. As a result, they weather the rough spot with greater understanding and appreciation for each other.

Another master climber. They make it look so incredibly effortless. — The sifakas are masterful climbers. They make it look so incredibly effortless.

A Tool for Reframing Your Story

Brown’s story unlocked something for me. I tend to avoid confrontation. I also realize that I get stuck in black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking, or even partial truths. Brown’s phrase is empowering. Using it allows me to take ownership of the narrative I’m telling myself and voice it aloud. By sharing it with the other person, I can learn whether my story is close or if I have completely missed the mark.

I’ve used this with my daughter and husband. Each time, I’ve gained more clarity and learned how often the story I’m concocting is partly incorrect. Imagine having one tool that could help us clear up misunderstandings. This reframing phrase is becoming that tool.

A sifaka mom with a baby clutched to her stomach.

An Example of Rising Strong

As an illustration, one of the opportunities I had to use the phrase revolves around my expectations. I expect when I make an appointment, the person will be ready for me. Last week that didn’t happen. The story I told myself was that I didn’t matter, that I was “less important” than whatever else was going on. Or worse, I was simply forgotten.

On using the line with myself and digging deeper with self-compassion and an openness to learning, I realized not only was I wrong, but the problem was NOT between the two of us, but steeped in technology. My phone has had issues sending and receiving texts. Since the other person texts almost exclusively, we kept missing each other. The new, true story was “My technology needs updating.” That immediately led to owning and discussing the problem, apologizing, finding a better way to confirm appointments, backing up data on my old phone, and ordering a new one. We both experienced a win-win and kept our relationship intact.

Indri singing in the rain. Their haunting calls resonate for miles in the rainforest canopy. If only we could communicate the same way, without needing all the high-tech gizmos and gadgets!

What Resources Have Helped You?

We have explored a number of tools for change in the past six months, including KISAGE (keeping it simple and good enough), focusing on the GAIN rather than the GAP, and finding joy everywhere.

If you have found it helpful to learn about resources we’ve shared that energize, educate, or shift something within you, please comment below. Better yet, if you know of books or websites that have helped YOU on your journey through change, I would love to hear about them. Perhaps one will be featured and discussed in upcoming posts.

Rising Strong into Year Two

I am gearing up for a second year of blog posts (Yo.u know who you are — thanks for your encouragement!) What resonates most with you? My ideas going forward include advice from author and life coach Tama Kieves. Precision Nutrition takeaway tips. Kristin Neff on Self-Compassion. Brene Brown’s many books. And of course, I’ll continue to share adventures with Ajax.

Rise strong with me into year two. Do you know of others who could benefit from the tips in this blog? Help me grow my subscriber list by forwarding it!