CourtSchurmanGO.com 2025-03-03

How to Reframe Negatives into Motivating Positives

Traumatic events test the foundation your life is built on. They might even pummel you to the ground. If you get beaten down, how do you find the courage and strength to pull yourself together and keep going? One solution may be by learning how to reframe negatives into motivating positives.

Sunsets remind me that tomorrow is another day. Reframe negatives into motivating positives. — Sunsets remind me that tomorrow is another day. I’m learning how to reframe negatives into motivating positives.

How Reframing Works

Last week I introduced the concept of the five-minute action. A trick I explored this week is looking at negative or stressful events in a new way. Before you say, “I don’t want to read about dread, worry, anxiety, and bad habits. Just teach me how to get unstuck!” consider this: what if we look at them as coping strategies that are simply trying to help us?

To reframe something means to look at it in a different, more positive way. When you have a bad experience, try asking yourself open-ended questions to find the “silver lining.” Perhaps you learned something new about yourself. Or you met someone kind and helpful you might not have otherwise met. Maybe you learned how imperative it is to never have that same experience again.

An “open-ended question” is one that cannot be answered with simple one-word responses such as “yes, no, or maybe.” Such questions require deliberate thought, usually phrased with words like who, what, where, when, and how. Some examples might include, “How might you view that experience in a way that doesn’t increase anxiety?” or “What takeaway lesson did you learn about yourself or others that might help you in the future?”

My favorite canine hiking companion, basking in the sun on the cover of our hot tub. We're taking it easy right now partly so he can rest his right front leg. — My favorite canine hiking companion, basking in the sun on the cover of our hot tub. We’re taking it easy right now, partly so he can rest his right front leg.

Reframe Negatives: A Snowstorm’s Silver Lining

The most memorable example I can share is about returning to Seattle from a holiday visit in North Carolina years ago. My family got caught in bad weather in the middle of the United States. Our connecting flight had been overbooked while others were getting rescheduled for the next day. Staying overnight was not an option for us, as hotels were all booked. The airline attendant helped find an earlier flight for my husband connecting through Denver, while my daughter and I waited for a direct flight that would take off for Seattle an hour later.

The silver lining — and what I remember most about what could have been a major headache — was flying first-class with my daughter. We landed at SeaTac Airport just a few minutes after my husband, due to more flight delays. We did not have to camp out in an airport like many people across the midwest, nor did we have to travel separated in economy class. Conditions that could have ruined our trip actually left us with pleasant memories. The bonus? Our bags somehow made it home before we did!

A mural on a retaining wall at one of the local houses during an exploration walk with Ajax. I've pounded the pavement in our neighborhood some 7100 hours during the past 6.5 years and I continue to see something new every single day. — A mural on a retaining wall at one of the local houses during an exploration walk with Ajax. I’ve pounded the pavement in our neighborhood some 7100 hours during the past 6.5 years and I continue to find something new every single day.

What Do Bad Habits Say That’s Positive About You?

Similarly, try reframing any bad habits you want to change. What’s good about that habit? If you spend a few hours watching a movie with your spouse, dog, and kids, think about what such a choice might say about you besides “I know better. I’m too lazy and I never get enough sleep.”

Maybe it means that you’re doing your best to spend time with your family. It might mean that you’re giving yourself some much-needed downtime following a stressful day of work. Perhaps you value doing things together instead of isolating on cell phones. Watching a documentary and discussing what you’ve seen could also educate and inspire younger family members. Not to mention it allows you to keep tabs on everyone when being out and about might be considered unsafe.

My daughter with a wide assortment of ribbons. I used to worry about becoming a "helicopter parent" until I learned how to loosen the reins and let her make mistakes -- and learn from them. — My daughter with a wide assortment of ribbons. I veered away from becoming a “helicopter parent” and learned how to let my daughter make her own mistakes — and learn from them.

Identify What May Be More Helpful

If it is still a habit you really want to change, what habit might you put in its place? If you want to stop drinking every evening, perhaps you could try replacing alcohol with seltzer and lime. Maybe you could unwind by taking an after-dinner stroll or easy bike ride. If you still want to watch TV, consider setting a timer or alarm clock at a specific time to remind you when to turn off screens and shift gears into preparing for sleep.

Bad habits do not make you a bad person, just like traumatic events don’t define you. Try reframing your habits and seeking the silver lining in the negative events. Then share your experiences in the comments below. And if you need help making changes, I would love to start a dialog with you about how coaching can help you do so.

Five Minute Actions Help You Achieve Important Goals

One of my projects this year is to complete a certificate course through Precision Nutrition focused on rest, recovery, and resilience. Such a course couldn’t come at a better time. Hopefully, it will be chock full of wonderful nuggets to share with my loyal readers. The idea of taking some five minute actions to get yourself moving perfectly matches the other ideas I’ve introduced over the last month.

The snow-covered trail to the summit of Mt. Teneriffe, January 2021.

Tips for Getting Unstuck: a Review

To review, on New Year’s Day, I wrote about keeping it simple and good enough (kisage). By doing so, we give ourselves permission to make mistakes, to develop a growth mindset, and to eliminate the need to do things perfectly.

Right before Christmas, I shared the importance of finding joy in the smallest of pleasures. We can get so busy that we take things for granted. By slowing down, we can appreciate the small things that bring us great joy. After all, we remember moments, not days.

And a month ago, on December 8, I described how to focus on doing one thing to get unstuck. That way, you can keep in mind your highest priority for the day, even if it changes from one day to the next. It helps us avoid overwhelm and prevents us from getting mired in long to-do lists.

Five-minute actions: this ice cream cone was literally a race against time. The air temperature was quickly rising and rain was making the snow very heavy and slushy. But a five-minute "let's just see how it is" led to an "hour tower" worthy of a picture. — Five-minute action: building this ice cream cone was literally a race against time. The air temperature was quickly rising and rain was making the snow very heavy and slushy. But a five minute “let’s just see how the snow feels” led to an “hour tower” worthy of a picture and memories.

The Idea Behind Five Minute Actions

How can taking a five-minute action help? It creates a tiny bit of positive momentum that helps you get unstuck. You’re probably thinking, “But clutter busting my house will take weeks, maybe even months.” Or maybe, “That’s insane. I can’t prepare to climb Mt. Rainier in five minutes.” And trust me, I’ve said it myself: “There’s no way I can even think about writing a book in five minutes.”

I hear you.

BUT… what five-minute action COULD you take that will get you one step closer to your goal?

Let’s use this week’s blog post as an example. I started thinking about it several days ago. It was on my “shortlist” yesterday, but it was not my “one thing.” Today, it was my ONE THING. Yet, I still couldn’t get started.

I took a five-minute action for one of my Capture Your 365 prompts, "green" on January 3, by getting myself out the door so I could spot this wonderful face on a clump of grass. — I took a five-minute action for one of my Capture Your 365 prompts, “green” on January 3, by getting myself out the door so I could find this wonderful face on a clump of grass.

Finally, I reminded myself to pick a five minute task. It could be anything. I chose to look for a few photographs to go with my post.

Before I knew it, I had chosen six pictures that represented different aspects of taking a five minute action. Then, I wrote my first paragraph. I came up with some headings. Before long, I had half the blog. And all it took was committing to taking one five-minute action.

I love the image of stalactites and stalagmites and how mightily they grow with tiny actions over many years. The icicle is another example of tiny actions making a difference. The key is to stay consistent with whatever habit you choose to build. You WILL get there.

How Five Minute Actions Work in Fitness

I have used a variation on this idea with my Body Results clients, too. If you’re having trouble committing to doing an entire strength workout or going for an hour-long walk, commit to taking a five minute action.

Set out your workout clothes. Fill your water bottle with ice. Call a friend to meet you at the trailhead. Walk to the mailbox. Show up at the gym and get warmed up. By setting your intention and just starting, you overcome inertia and create positive momentum.

You can even promise yourself, “If I’m not feeling it after five minutes, I can stop.” Nine times out of ten, by the end of five minutes, you’ll keep going since you’ve already started. Similarly, with the example of working on my blog post, after five minutes I couldn’t just stop. Try it, it really works.

Another of our recent snow creations. This year we built Stuart, a minion from Despicable Me, this bear climbing a tree to get honey, and the hand holding an ice cream cone shown above.

Will Five Minute Actions Work with Anything?

I challenge my readers to find something that does NOT have any five-minute actions associated with it. Your homework, should you care to participate, is to find a goal that is important to you and figure out several steps you need to take to get it done.

Can you take five minutes to schedule an hour for quality time with your spouse or child? What about emailing an accountability partner who will help you stick to your workout goals? Could you commit one five minute block of time, every single day, to work on your manuscript? Would it help to have a guide service send you information about a climb that you could post on your fridge or at your desk for motivation?

Anyone can find five minutes. The key is to do this consistently. Move forward, even if it’s just a small five minute action every day. They accumulate, and sometimes they grow into larger blocks of time. Before you know it, you’ll have made a sizable dent.

If you are unable to break your goal down into smaller steps, post a question on my blog and I’ll help you figure out what step you need to take to get some momentum. Remember, you’re not looking for perfect, you’re trying to get unstuck. The blog post is complete, and all it took was starting with a five-minute action.

The author, hugging a local tree. You got this!

Keep It Simple And Good Enough in Your 2022 Goals

You may have noticed in the past six months that I adore playing with words. In October, I coined OcTraPiMo for “October Trash Pick-up Month.” To kick off the new year, my accountability partner, Elena Hartwell Taylor, a developmental editor at Allegory Editing, suggested a new word from a phrase I used. Keeping it “Simple And Good Enough.” Introducing ‘SAGE‘, or “avoiding perfection.”

Keep it simple and good enough. The snow might not have been right for rolling big creations, but with snow molds, we could still create snow penguins for our deck railing.

Make Mistakes

Perfection is an illusion I’m more than ready to let go of. Instead of setting resolutions this year, I’m going to embrace making mistakes. The more the better. Because that means I’m trying new things and stretching outside of my comfort zone.

One caveat: meet Making Mistakes’ big brother, Learning From Them. We must learn so we don’t make the same ones again. I have made (and continue to make) tons of mistakes in my life, some of which I’ve learned from, others I haven’t. I want to explore the silver linings. To embrace the changes that come from trying something new and discovering things I never knew before. Like our annual tradition of taking the Polar Bear Plunge in Lake Washington on New Year’s Day.

Make Simple and Good Enough Goals You Can Keep

As a trainer, most of the year I teach clients about setting SMART goals – making them Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic, and Time-stamped. I am not a fan of page-turn resolutions as I know most of them fail within the first month of a new year. My plan to “keep it simple and good enough” inspires playfulness rather than dread. If I don’t think I can consistently drink 65 ounces of water (half your body weight in ounces gives you your target to consume daily), what if I start by increasing my consumption from 32 to 40? Then maybe 48? An eight-ounce glass a day. Surely I could do that, no problem. Consistency and playfulness, not perfection.

Pinocchio Penguin with an icicle nose. Playfulness at its best.

What Simple and Good Enough Might Inspire

What if we accepted 85% rather than 100%? We spend 85% of our time getting that last 15% of any project finished. If we said, “good enough” and put that time toward other things that are more important, how could our lives change? What would happen if, during the holidays, you only sent five cards rather than fifty? Or if you sent gifts a week later than normal? I tried both this year. The earth kept revolving. Which would you prefer, completing THE one most important thing each day, or staring at a list of twenty, stuck, overwhelmed, increasing your blood pressure, and doing nothing? What if you could only make one annual commitment to yourself? What would yours be?

A blog post would not be complete without a shot of my partner-in-climes, Ajax. We go out in all weather, rain or shine, snow or hail.

Be Willing to Be a Beginner

I’m going to work on changing my mind. Not in a wishy-washy way, but intentionally, to reset neural pathways so that I embrace novelty and change. I want to cultivate a beginner’s mindset for everything I try instead of expecting perfection on the very first try. Nobody shows mastery of anything the first time. It takes more than 10,000 hours to master something!

I’ve spent over twenty-five years learning about wellness and fitness, not web design. As my husband and I revamp our website (with a developer’s help), I know we’re going to make plenty of mistakes. And that’s okay. I embrace, in Carol Dweck’s words, a growth mindset. It might be stressful at times, but if we keep the end goal in mind and see what we can learn in the process, it might be more enjoyable.

Snow falling on the Olympic Hills mascot, the otter, and his enclave, a few blocks from our Seattle home.

Simple and Good Enough Inspires Play

What “good enough” inspires in me is spending more time doing fun, playful things with my family. As an example, over the holidays we got 6-8 inches of snow. I took time out to go sledding the day after Christmas several hours after we got fresh powder. I went cross-country skiing two days later, first thing in the morning before starting my appointments.

As the weather inched up to just above freezing, my husband and I grabbed a few hours to build a Snow Minion. Did I finish all my work those days? Not quite. But holidays are meant to be enjoyed. Did the world fall apart because I was a few days delayed on work? Nope. Did I feel better getting personal joy into the mix? Absolutely.

The author and her husband, creators of Stuart the one-eyed minion from Despicable Me. The snow was not perfect -- it took multiple attempts to get a ball to roll -- but we pounced on the several-hour window of "good enough" warming to make this cute critter. He's not perfect - he's white, not yellow, and his bamboo hair sticks straight up instead of a comb-over, but "he's good enough." — The author and her husband, creators of Stuart the one-eyed minion from Despicable Me. The snow was not perfect — it took multiple attempts to get a ball to roll — but we pounced on the several-hour window of “good enough” conditions to make this cute critter. He’s not perfect – he’s white, not yellow, and his bamboo hair sticks straight up instead of a comb-over, but “he’s good enough.”

So try it yourself. Keep it simple and good enough. Make mistakes and learn from them. Harvest a beginner’s mind and cultivate a growth mindset. And most importantly, let yourself play. May these be the resolutions you carry forward into 2022.

How To Increase Movement During High-Stress and Winter

Some of my clients recently asked for strategies to increase movement during the holidays. They expressed concerns about diminished activity due to numerous video conferences. My own client sessions have become less active since I started hosting them on Zoom. I still demonstrate exercises, but mostly I supervise clients completing their workouts at their homes while I stand at my treadmill desk screen.

Note the operative words: stand and treadmill desk. Grab every opportunity to stand instead of sit. If you have an adjustable desk and can stand for at least half your work time, great. Build opportunities to walk during work meetings or phone calls. My hiking buddy actually started a conference as we returned to our cars after a recent hike. Increase daily movement however you can.

Increase movement. Our home gym is equipped with a Versa Climber, elliptical, rower, Jacob's Ladder, and (right) treadmill where my second work station is set up. I write close to half my blog posts while walking on it. — Our home gym is equipped with a Versa Climber, elliptical, rower, Jacob’s Ladder, and (right) treadmill where my second work station is set up. I write close to half my blog posts while walking on it.

Below I present suggestions for moving more, encouraging wellness at home, and maintaining hiking mileage during winter.

Increase Movement During Breaks

Sometimes improving your situation and getting unstuck is as simple as having the right person to mirror and guide you and provide accountability. If you're interested in receiving customized coaching, contact Court@bodyresults.com. — Sometimes improving your situation and getting unstuck is as simple as having the right person to mirror and guide you as well as provide accountability. If you’re interested in receiving customized coaching, contact Court@bodyresults.com.

Set an alarm. Remind yourself to move every hour. Use five minutes to stretch, toss laundry in the drier, place dishes in the dishwasher, or vacuum.
Play music. Vigorously dance to encourage blood flow. Not only is this fun, but it will help minimize brain fog and maximize alertness.
Incorporate movement at your desk. Set up a work station at your treadmill, use an exercycle, or try a step-in-place device. Set up stretching bands, TRX loops or a pullup bar and grab a few repetitions as a break.
Plan short breaks between video sessions. Grab a 15-minute walk in the neighborhood, hug your pet or child, get a healthy snack, or sit outside in the sun and ground barefoot. (Yes, even in the dead of winter I include barefoot time whenever it’s not freezing, snowing, or pouring)

The author grounding on December 19, a rare sunny winter day when the sun was out.

Take Additional Steps Toward Health at Home

Keep water nearby at all times. Divide your body weight (in pounds) by two and try to consume that number of ounces every day. A person who weighs 150 pounds should shoot for drinking 75 ounces each day. Add to that if you’re exercising vigorously for an extended period of time (i.e. hiking). Once you empty your water bottle, get up and fill it. The tactile reminder will encourage you to move more often.
Make it hard to get easily-consumed, high caloric density snacks. Even better, don’t buy them; once you bring junk food in the house, you’ll either eat it or throw it out. Have ready-made hummus, veggies, hard-boiled eggs, sliced fruit, or nuts to eat instead.
Include a few options for managing stress. Try taking deep, cleansing breaths whenever you feel stressed, trying the suggestions above, or simply stare out the window and let your mind wander.
Nap! If you find yourself dozing off or getting increasingly frustrated and you have the luxury of twenty minutes, grab a catnap. Much better than using caffeine or sugar to temporarily provide a boost.

Maintain Mileage and Gain During Winter Months

If you enjoy hiking year-round and you want to maintain your mileage and gain during cold and snowy weather, try the following suggestions.

Explore more-frequented trails near the city. This time of year, Pacific Northwest Trails are relatively empty. Cougar Mountain and Tiger Mountain both have tons of great low-elevation trails that provide wonderful hiking opportunities without much snow.
Consider doing “laps” on a lower elevation hike. Cougar Mountain, for example, has plenty of miles of trails that you can link into longer outings. On a hike two weeks ago, I completed the Big Tree Ridge Trail twice for over nine miles and 2700 feet of elevation gain. It all counts toward maintaining your hiking fitness.
Plan hikes with work companions or, like my buddy did two weeks ago, start a conference call toward the end of your outing to squeeze fitness into your hectic day.
Carry a pack at least once a week to maintain in-season fitness levels so that when you start ramping up you don’t have to start from scratch.
Complete urban workouts with a pack. Hikes are not the only way to carry weight! Walk to the library to check out or return books, or visit the grocery store and carry groceries home in a pack. I seldom use my car unless I have to drive more than a few miles. I combine local errands with dog walking and pack carrying so we’re both happy. Added benefit? We’re doing our part to save fuel and promote clean green living.

Descending the Big Tree Ridge trail through some ... not-so-big trees. Switchbacks indicate STEEPNESS. — Descending the Big Tree Ridge trail through some … not-so-big trees. Switchbacks indicate STEEPNESS.

Slow Down to Find Joy in Simple Pleasures

Napoleon Hill said, “Action is the real measure of intelligence.” I have always prided myself on getting things done. But we are human beings, not human doings. In a pandemic world where everything moves at lightning speed, it’s challenging to slow down. It’s even harder to make enduring change. You may recall that it took me seven years to launch this blog.

Other times, things change in a heartbeat. Following the stressful events of last week, I’ve identified areas I want to change in 2022. I want to let go of the illusion of perfection, eliminate the word “should” from my vocabulary, seek out and enjoy tiny daily pleasures, and slow down before the good stuff passes by.

The ten-foot tall snowman my husband, daughter and I built during perfect snow conditions in February, 2021. Slow down and enjoy. — Snow brings me immense joy. My husband, daughter, and I built this ten-foot-tall snowman during perfect conditions in February 2021.

What Brings You Joy?

My family, physical activity, writing, photography, animals, nature, and helping others top my list. What’s on yours? May this post be an invitation to notice and name what brings you joy.

Whenever I experience a lack in any of the above areas, I overcompensate in others. Last week my journal became my salvation. I wrote more than thirty pages. As things return to normal, I feel compelled to pair seasonal images of family joy with the discoveries in this post.

However you celebrate the holidays, my hope is that you’re with loved ones doing things that bring you joy, no matter how big or small.

A brave flower peeking through the soil following February's snowfall, 2021. — A brave flower peeking through the soil following February’s snowfall, 2021.

Slow Down and Enjoy Moments of Gratitude

The first thing I noticed at the end of last week’s event was a bright sunbeam peeking out of the clouds, illuminating the tile at my feet and bringing a smile to my face. As I headed outside, I stopped to caress the wilted buds on a bush. I dropped to a knee and skimmed my hand along the tops of frozen, brittle blades of grass.

I deeply inhaled the frigid cold air, trying to bring a gallon into my lungs. As my husband and I walked, I marveled at the crunch of the grass, the uneven surface of the gravel, the smooth pavement. At the gulls and crows soaring overhead. A squirrel darted away, a prized nut in its mouth. We meandered slowly, intentionally absorbing every detail. I wanted to hold onto this moment of blissful freedom, enjoying everything Mother Nature offered.

Ajax and the author's attempt to make a snow dog in his likeness during last February, 2021's snowstorm in Seattle. Snow Play Seasonal Pleasures — Ajax and the author’s attempt to make a snow dog in his likeness during last February 2021’s snowstorm in Seattle.

The Joy of Coming Home

Once in the doorway of our home, I dropped to my knees to let Ajax bathe my face and hands in kisses, wagging full-body around me countless times. Did the four days feel to him like four years? He’s been my shadow since we got him in July of 2015, and my steady hiking companion for the past two years. Everyone should be so lucky as to know the bliss of a pup’s unconditional love.

As I continued through the house, I marveled at the soft lighting, the familiar smells, the peaceful quiet. The comforts of everything we’ve chosen to adorn our home. A refrigerator with wholesome, nourishing food. A yard to enjoy in all seasons. The most comfortable bed on the planet. My gym and workstation. A hot tub to enjoy after long hikes. Signs of my family. Our decorated tree. There truly is no place like home.

Ajax at eight weeks old and the author's daughter cuddling July 2015. — Ajax at eight weeks old and the author’s daughter cuddling July 2015.

Slow Down to Notice Signs

Yesterday I received a newsletter from a journaling association I’ve followed for several years. Normally I’d hit delete, as I recently tried to reduce clutter from my inbox. Not only did I open it, but as I scrolled down, the following poem jumped out. Did this person somehow inhabit my brain? With Lynda Monk’s permission, I share it below in hopes that it delights you as much as it did me. (Bold highlights are mine)

Another neighborhood creation, Bigfoot lounging on front steps.

For One Who Is Exhausted, a Blessing

By John O’Donohue

When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight.

The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.

Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.

The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.

Empty Time

You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken in the race of days.

At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.

You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.

Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.

Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.

Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.

Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.

Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.

Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.

If you would like to receive inspiration and ideas for your own journal writing journey, get a free journaling gift from the International Association for Journal Writing. And if you have any questions about how journal writing might help you, please post them in the comments box.