Trainer and Coach: How to Know the Difference

This week presented me with a number of blog options during a significant period of change. Shopping with my daughter for back-to-school items. Starting a new physical therapy program. Preparing to visit my parents. Visiting the Washington State Fair. And, tragically, watching a neighbor’s house go up in flames. The bright spot that stood out the most was the “aha” moment I had yesterday during my Master Health Coaching class. It dawned on me that readers might be interested in learning the difference between trainer and coach.

First place in quilling at the 2023 Washington State Fair. One of my family's traditions is to go on opening day to see how our entries do in various contests.
First place in quilling at the 2023 Washington State Fair. One of my family’s traditions is to go on opening day to see how our entries do in various contests.

Personal Trainer Defined

For 25 years I have been the lead personal trainer at Body Results Inc. As such, clients come to me seeking guidance and expertise on how to most effectively prepare for their outdoor adventure, my chosen niche.

Some might be preparing for a backpacking trip in the Grand Canyon or trekking to Everest Base Camp. Others might be interested in climbing Mt. Rainier, Denali, or Everest. A few want to participate in alpine skill-building classes. Occasionally I’ll get a client who wants to ski, kayak, canoe, or even compete in triathlons or marathons.

Trainer or coach? Depends on whether you want to be told exactly what to do or get guidance on a climb. A personal trainer will provide training programs. A climbing coach or guide might actually take you up the mountain.
Trainer or coach? Depends on whether you want to be told exactly what to do or get guidance on a climb. A personal trainer will provide training programs. A climbing coach or guide might actually take you up the mountain.

Personal trainers generally advise their clients what to do in order to best reach their physical goals. They provide recommendations about stretching, mobility, strength training, and aerobic and anaerobic conditioning. Some may also include recovery, sleep, and nutrition guidelines. If you’re looking for someone to develop a program for you and help keep track of workouts, sets, reps, weights, and times, a personal trainer is the person to ask.

Coach Defined

On the other side of the “people-helping” spectrum are coaches. Their primary role is as a facilitator of learning. Coaches work in all fields: life, financial, spiritual, mental health, wellness, career, retirement, family, sales, sports… If you want guidance in some realm, you can probably find a coach for it. Coaches often play the role of educator, guide, facilitator, and mentor all rolled into one. They aim to improve your performance right now, rather than in the future.

Precision Nutrition, touted as “the largest and most respected private nutrition organization in the world,” teaches that coaches act as advisors and collaborators. Their philosophy is to “bring the boats alongside” — i.e. create a partnership where the coach lets the client take charge of their own health decisions. They encourage the development of autonomy and self-efficacy by mastering a certain set of skills that will get the client closer to their goal.

Our Body Results training studio. We even have space and means to coach Z-pulley set up and prusik set up.
Our Body Results training studio. We even have space and means to coach Z-pulley set up and Prusik set up.

One Big Difference

Ask yourself: Do you want to meet your trainer or coach in person or remotely? Having offered both, I can say there is an obvious, fundamental difference for the consumer post-COVID times.

Traditional personal training (guiding someone through a workout) is more challenging to offer on video calls. I have clients with home gyms who enlist my guidance as their trainer. Others record themselves doing exercises and then submit the video to me for critiquing.

Coach Court and Ajax on Dirty Harry's Peak with Mt. Rainier in the background.
Coach Court and Ajax on Dirty Harry’s Peak with Mt. Rainier in the background.

If you have issues that require hands-on manipulation, form check, positioning, or spotting, then in-person training might fit your needs best. If you know your way around a gym and want someone to develop a program for you to do on your own, remote training could work well.

A coach who offers thought experiments, tracking logs, and conversation can do so quite easily over video conferencing.

Trainer and Coach: Who Are You Looking For?

When you’re thinking about choosing between a trainer and coach, continue asking yourself questions such as these:

  • What is my end goal? Do I want general improved health and fitness or do I have a specific outcome goal in mind such as climbing the Matterhorn or completing the Snowman Trek in Bhutan?
  • What skills do I need to accomplish my objective and who can help me build those skills?
Think about what you want in a trainer and coach. Are you results-oriented? Is the goal more important than the journey? Who best aligns with what you want?
Think about what you want in a trainer and coach. Are you results-oriented? Is the goal more important than the journey? Who best aligns with what you want?
  • What type of person do I want to help me? Do I want to be told exactly what to do, or do I need a partner who will ask me enlightening questions to help me grow and challenge myself?
  • What obstacles stand in my way? Do I have an injury I need to rehabilitate? Do I have health issues I need to address first? Would help with the mental and emotional side of things make sense first?
  • Do I prefer meeting someone in person or would a video call, phone conversation, or email suffice?
  • What must come out of my sessions in order to feel that the relationship has been successful?

Armed with these answers, you will be able to determine whether you need a teacher, a physical therapist, a counselor, a nutrition or movement coach, a personal trainer, or someone else entirely. Each plays a vital and unique role, with different responsibilities and outcomes.

The embroidery piece that won the blue ribbon at the Washington State Fair is an intricate Parisian cafe scene.
The embroidery piece that won the blue ribbon at the Washington State Fair is an intricate Parisian cafe scene.

My Evolution to Trainer and Coach

If you’re lucky, you might come across someone who has skills in a wide number of the above roles. I have more than 28 years of experience as a personal trainer. In the last seven years, I’ve added nutrition knowledge. Sleep, stress management, and recovery skills. Understanding of change psychology. Coaching skills. And, starting in November 2023, a journal coaching credential. A widely varied toolkit to draw from, depending on the client and what each person wants, needs, and wishes to use.

Evolution and Epiphanies

I’m evolving into someone I don’t yet recognize. (This is, after all, a blog about change.) During a role-play in my Master Health class last night, I had an epiphany. I was acting as the coach and started to have that deer-in-the-headlights feeling of “I dunno what to do here!” In the past, I’ve tried throwing out desperate suggestions: “You could try X. Have you thought about Y? What about considering Z?”

My office desk, where half of my Zoom conversations occur. And where I had my pivotal epiphany.
My office desk, where half of my Zoom conversations occur. And where I had my pivotal epiphany.

This time, I stopped. Pivoted. Took a breath. Quickly asked myself, What do I still need to know? A new open-ended question popped up that took us down a brand new path. A new entry into the maze. Exploring that one question led us to a solution my partner, the “client,” came up with. One that pleased and thrilled her. We never would have found it if I hadn’t let that silence be for a few seconds.

At that moment, I trusted the client to suggest her own answer. Precision Nutrition calls the need to fix things the “righting reflex,” the natural instinct we have to give advice, tell someone what to do, and make the problem disappear. That single moment was subtle to my coaching partners, but to me, it felt enormous. I’d broken my habit of “telling someone what to do.” I have finally metamorphosed into a trainer and coach.

Three things make me really happy: Hiking with my dog. Completing a challenge. And helping clients expand their potential.
Three things make me really happy: Hiking with my dog. Completing a challenge. And helping clients expand their potential.

Trainer and Coach: How About Both?

The good news is you can have a trainer and coach. Me! While I have been contemplating leaving personal training to become a full-time coach, there are benefits to continuing both.

Nutrition, personal training, journaling, sleep, stress, and recovery credentials all make me a well-rounded health and wellness coach, with access to a wide variety of tools to help you move toward your objective. And even better news is I am opening several more training spots for the remainder of the year.

If you are seeking a trainer and coach, let’s have a conversation to help you find your unique path forward.

How to Rewrite The Rules at Peek-a-Boo Lake

Several weeks ago, a writing partner told me she’d mentioned my blog to a hiking friend of hers. Her friend didn’t find what she was looking for in my recent posts. It appears she was looking for long, tough hikes with huge elevation gain. When my friend called her friend a “hiking snob,” I laughed. Perhaps she just wasn’t interested in the change messages I shared. But on a family hike to Peek-a-Boo Lake yesterday, I thought about how stringent rules make us miss a lot in life. How might you rewrite the rules to get more from your life?

My hiking partners are ready to rewrite the rules with me.
My hiking partners are ready to rewrite the rules with me.

The Drive

We left Seattle yesterday morning at 7:40 under overcast skies. We mistakenly headed toward Monroe before realizing we needed to go due north to Everett. Oops. I didn’t calculate the distance properly; my estimation of 1.5 hours ended up being closer to 2.25 hours.

When we pulled into the Beaver Lake Trailhead to use the Portapotty (since Peek-a-Boo doesn’t have any facilities) I checked the mileage sign for an idea of other hikes in the Darrington area. Refreshed and certain we were close, we drove up the forest service road toward Peek-a-Boo Lake. And that’s when the wonder and awe began, along with a very long, slow drive.

Five miles of brushy, one-lane, potholed road. By giving myself permission to rewrite the rules, we get to explore pristine forests in out-of-the-way places where berries burst off bushes and nobody else is there to bother us.
Five miles of brushy, one-lane, potholed road. By giving myself permission to rewrite the rules, we get to explore pristine forests in out-of-the-way places where berries burst off bushes and nobody else is there to bother us.

Obstacles

How long can five miles take to drive? Forever, if the road is narrow and brushy. The one-lane road was in fairly decent shape, but we had to hop out several times to clear branches and debris. A downed tree across the road provided JUST enough clearance to pass underneath without getting stuck. We proceeded slowly so the branches wouldn’t damage the paint on our car.

A downed tree across the road provided just enough clearance for our vehicle.
A downed tree across the road provided just enough clearance for our vehicle.

Rewards

Eight ruffed grouse, about the size of chickens, ducked in and out of the brush. My husband, a master birder through Seattle Audubon, pointed out that they collect gravel from the road to help with digestion. This sighting boosted my hiking bird list to 32 unique species in August, one of the less birdy months of the year. The other dozen species on this trip included golden-crowned kinglets, western tanagers, and evening grosbeaks.

Fog loaned an ethereal quality to the morning. Water droplets collected on spider webs, highlighting the silver strands and making the mossy mountainside mysterious and mystifying. We finally pulled into an empty parking area with space for about a dozen cars. I couldn’t wait to discover what this trail had to offer.

Delicate maidenhair ferns - my favorites - covered in droplets. I never would have guessed the Pacific Northwest had been in a drought since early July.
Delicate maidenhair ferns – my favorites – covered in droplets. I never would have guessed the Pacific Northwest had been in a drought since early July.

Why Hike Peek-a-Boo Lake?

Why Peek-a-Boo? Both my husband and daughter preferred something under eight miles without much elevation gain. At five miles and 1500 feet of gain, this hike fit perfectly. My daughter wanted to explore another alpine lake and perhaps collect berries. Ajax likes shade, running water, cool temperatures, and the ability to hike off-leash with his family.

In some ways, I resemble the hiking snob. Ajax and I usually cover 8-15 miles with 3-4000 feet of elevation gain. We prefer overcast and cool days with a crack-of-dawn start to avoid foot and car traffic. This summer I’ve had to rewrite the rules. I chose nine hikes that my daughter (a night owl) could enjoy. When my husband offered to join us, I put my intended destination, Island and Rainbow Lakes, on hold. Time to rewrite the rules.

Fascinating old-growth trees with interesting shapes and textures reach up into the fog. If we don't rewrite the rules, we might miss out.
Fascinating old-growth trees with interesting shapes and textures reach up into the fog. If we don’t rewrite the rules, we might miss out.

Could we visit a beautiful place I’d never been before? Have some unique bird encounters? Find a trail nobody else was using? The trail register just beyond the parking lot indicated that the last visitors were two hikers three days earlier on Sunday. We had the trail to ourselves. Success!

Berry Surprise

We reached the lake around noon, chatting about my daughter’s teachers over the years. Keeping both my husband and daughter talking means I don’t have much time to think about my blog. But this was my birthday. Last year we took a boat tour to the Kenai Fjords in Alaska. This year, we could include our dog. Rules are meant to be broken. And when you’re working with a wellness coach, you learn how to rewrite the rules.

The biggest surprise was finding bushes all along the lake bursting with berries. For an hour we collected wild huckleberries and blueberries. It reminded me of the family trip to pick alpine berries on Mt. Catherine two years ago, another hike that doesn’t “fit my usual rules.” Frankly, if you intend to spend any time picking berries, you probably don’t WANT to be on a long hike!

A handful of blueberries we picked at Peek-a-Boo Lake.
A handful of blueberries we picked at Peek-a-Boo Lake.
Lakeside bushes bursting with berries.
Lakeside bushes bursting with berries

Could I Rewrite the Rules?

I started writing this post thinking we wouldn’t return to Peek-A-Boo Lake. It takes so much effort just to reach the trailhead. But then I asked myself one of the “crazy questions” that Precision Nutrition coaches like to ask when they guide clients to rewrite the rules.

What could get me back there? I realized I needed to continue to rewrite the rules. If I hosted someone who wanted a shorter hike, the conversation in the car could make the long drive worthwhile.

If I were camping at the Clear Creek Campground for a week, I’d set myself up with a bunch of shorter day hikes to explore including Peek-a-Boo. And if I wanted to have a writer’s retreat away from the craziness of busy Seattle, what better place than visiting a lake that few people hike to?

Our rule is to go into any alpine lakes we visit. I chose to rewrite the rules for Peek-a-Boo Lake on a foggy, chilly day: wading works for me!
Our rule is to go into any alpine lakes we visit. I chose to rewrite the rules for Peek-a-Boo Lake on a foggy, chilly day: wading works for me!

Your Turn To Rewrite The Rules

How about you? Do you have any unspoken rules that are weighing you down? Where did they come from? Who made them? Think of a rule you’d like to change. Maybe it’s as simple as “I can’t watch TV without eating a snack,” or “I can’t see a movie in the theater without popcorn and soda.” Have you ever tried? What could your new rule look like?

Another common rule might be, “For exercise to count, it has to make me sweat and be longer than an hour.” Says who? If you have five minutes, you have enough time to exercise.

Ajax is on high alert watching a squirrel race up a tree. He's so well trained, he knows not to chase.
Ajax is on high alert watching a squirrel race up a tree. He’s so well trained, he knows not to chase.

If you like what you read in this weekly blog and you’d like to talk to me about what you’d like to change, please connect with me. I’d love to help you discover your unspoken “shoulds” and help you rewrite the rules. Please share in the comments.

Take Action Before Motivation: How to Get Unstuck

Excessive heat and poor air quality make everything more challenging. (Wildfires are burning in the Pacific Northwest.) Fortunately, most of my Body Results clients are climbing or have finished their summer adventures, so I am calling late August my “summer vacation.” But not without plenty of hard work. In addition to working through my 20-week-long Master Health Coach course, I’ve been eliminating addictive tendencies. I’ve discovered that taking action before motivation strikes is the key to getting unstuck. If you wait for motivation, you may never act.

Ajax poses on the bench at the summit of Cougar Mountain in the Whittaker Wilderness on August 19.
Ajax poses on the bench at the summit of Cougar Mountain in the Whittaker Wilderness on August 19.

Return to Whittaker Wilderness

Pondering the complicated nature of addiction, I returned to Cougar Mountain with Ajax to celebrate a break in the heat. Saturday dawned in the low 50’s — perfect hiking weather. The morning’s weather report warned that shifting winds would bring wildfire smoke into the Puget Sound area. I didn’t want to risk getting caught in smoke like we did last fall (see my blog about a hike to Melakwa Lake). Even though I avoid hiking on weekends, we couldn’t pass up this opportunity.

The last time I hiked in the Whittaker Wilderness, I wrote about “Expecting the Unexpected.” In it, I shared how all three of us struggled with different aspects of the hike. On this trip, ready to redeem ourselves, Ajax and I hiked in the opposite direction, reaching the summit via the Gombu Wilderness Cliffs trail. We also visited Shy Bear Marsh, Long View (without a view), and Doughty Falls (which is now just a puddle), complete with a geocache we missed on our first visit.

Ajax poses by a moss-covered log in the early morning sunlight. I often take action before motivation by setting out my pack. He then does the motivating for me the next day.
Ajax poses by a moss-covered log in the early morning sunlight. I often take action before motivation by setting out my pack. He then does the motivating for me the next day.

Tsonduko: Love of Lots of Books

As we hiked, I wrestled with my thoughts. I’d successfully broken my addictive tendencies around chocolate, fruit, and playing a game on my phone. How could I break my addiction to books? Authors have the best excuses in the world for collecting them. We study them for craft. Keep books we love or stories by authors we wish to emulate. Celebrate writing friends’ successes by buying their new releases. Accumulate piles of those we want to read someday. There’s even a Japanese word for such amassing.

Tsonduko refers to the shelves of books you’ve acquired but haven’t yet read. In his Big Think article about the art of amassing books, Kevin Dickinson concludes that “the value of an unread book is its power to get you to read it.” Enter my problem: Faced with too many choices, I have been reaching for pen and paper rather than books. I needed to make some changes.

A community library north of my house which I recently donated generously to. Most of the boxes around me are now full, poised for back-to-school reading, perhaps?
A community library north of my house which I recently donated generously to. Most of the boxes around me are now full, poised for back-to-school reading, perhaps?

At the start of summer, I promised myself I would pare down. But with Labor Day in two weeks, I hadn’t gotten motivated enough to start. Fortunately, my daughter loves books almost as much as I do. But she doesn’t have the same collection tendencies. She’s asked several times in the past few weeks, “Ready to sort books?”

Action Before Motivation: Don’t Wait

When Ajax and I returned from our hike, I felt something shift inside. I remembered what Marie Kondo suggested about gathering similar items together. Without a second thought, I grabbed an armful of books and carried them downstairs. Before I realized it, I’d moved all the books from the shelves in the guest room and home gym. No turning back!

My daughter’s interest in helping me provided the tiny spark I needed to begin. I simply took action before motivation ever appeared.

Now all of my books sit waiting in the basement. Every time I pass through there, I remember my commitment. Whenever I walk Ajax, I load books into a backpack and return the discards to Little Free Libraries so other community members can enjoy them.

A Little Free Library near the stairs down to Lake Washington which I visited on my Cedar Park Elementary School ramble.
A Little Free Library near the stairs down to Lake Washington which I visited on my Cedar Park Elementary School ramble.

Takeaways of Action Before Motivation

Several takeaways from this experience stuck with me.

  • I don’t know what made me grab the first few books. Thoughts about the successful Yard Share event? Not wanting to disappoint my daughter? Getting fresh air with Ajax? I know that taking action before motivation works. Nothing will stop me now.
Mushrooms peeking out of the dry soil.
Mushrooms peeking out of the dry soil.
  • Sometimes we need to contemplate change for some time before we’re finally ready to act. Last week I discussed the five stages of change and reflected on whether I was in the Preparation phase. Hiking, participating in the Yard Share event, and having my daughter offer to help have all moved me into the Action phase.
  • Think about a big change you want to make. List all the reasons (are they excuses?) you haven’t yet made the change. If “lack of motivation” tops the list, break your list into steps you could take. Make them into small actionable items. Then take the first step. If your goal is to climb a mountain, it requires one step at a time. Take action before motivation and your motivation to follow through will grow.

Five Stages of Change: Am I in the Preparation Phase?

This week I feel like I’ve entered the “preparation” phase, the third of five stages of change. Stage three includes recognizing that change is imminent. But how remains unclear. In the preparation stage, we gather strategies and resources, take three steps forward and two back, and start to grow a sense of self-efficacy that maybe we CAN, indeed, change. The events that helped me move into this stage included a foggy hike of South Tiger Loop, a community-wide Yard Share event, and discovering my Change Capacity Assessment has improved over one I completed four months ago. What are you trying to change? Which of the five stages of change are you in?

We spotted huge nurse logs on South Tiger Loop. Change is inevitable. Preparation is the third of the five stages of change. Why do we resist so strongly?
We spotted huge nurse logs on South Tiger Loop. Change is inevitable. Preparation is the third of the five stages of change. Why do we resist so strongly?

South Tiger Loop

Last week’s adventure included exploring South Tiger Mountain Loop with Ajax and a friend. My daughter chose to sleep in that morning. My friend warned me that someone had reported a bear where we were headed. That was a double incentive for me, as I adore bears. Whether she felt nervous or just excited to get me caught up on her summer, I don’t know, but she maintained a constant chatter for much of the hike.

Every so often I dropped back to listen for birds. When a football shape swooped behind me, I let out a startled exclamation. She whipped around to see me peering through dense foliage. I mentioned that I’d spotted a barred owl. She seemed disappointed. At the end of the hike, my backpack accidentally brushed her shoulder. She let out a screech that left me as nervous as she must have felt.

A football-sized Barred Owl swooped in right behind me.
A football-sized Barred Owl swooped in right behind me.

Marine Fog

We only encountered two other people on our hike. In addition to the solitude, what impressed me was the dense fog layer. We typically don’t get fog until fall. Was Mother Nature signaling a change? Might we skip wildfire season altogether and receive early rain?

As I write this a week later, however, we’re experiencing temperatures soaring above 90. It’s uncomfortable enough for me to postpone long rambles or short hikes with Ajax. I won’t risk exposing anyone to heat exhaustion – been there, done that, prefer not to repeat, thanks. Right now, it seems downright dangerous to let dogs wearing fur coats exert themselves for long periods of time. We can wait.

Fireweed in the fog near the South Tiger Summit.
Fireweed in the fog near the South Tiger Summit.

Non-Linear Pathways

Just like humans going through the five stages of change, Mother Nature also flits back and forth, showing signs that change is imminent and then changing her mind at the last second. My transition to an empty nest has had similar fits and starts. A year of a mostly-empty nest. Summer with my daughter at home. And now as she prepares to return to college, I face a second year of a mostly-empty nest. This time, I feel better prepared. I am gaining self-efficacy.

Yard Share Community Event

The second event that got me thinking about the five stages of change was a community-wide Yard Share. In the Lake City area, seventy households agreed to participate. Think “garage sale” but without price tags. Saturday morning we set out stuffed animals, games, books, clothes, a trifold mirror, baby gate, posters, toys, and a few other miscellaneous objects that we’d stockpiled to donate to Goodwill. Maybe someone in the community would be able to enjoy them instead.

The Lake City area Yard Share event on August 12 included seventy different households.
The Lake City area Yard Share event on August 12 included seventy different households.

Our Finds

We visited six Shares within walking distance, a family outing we could all enjoy with Ajax. We came back toting a treasure trove that included:

  • A brand-new vacuum cleaner which I used that very afternoon. Timely, as I am about to retire mine
  • An enormous, brown stuffed bear my daughter named Nora
  • Three jackets and a wicking hiking shirt
  • A mug
  • Four puzzles (one of which is missing a few pieces, but that’s okay, we can’t expect much for free)
More goodies and the QR code announcement sharing the other locations of the Yard Share event.
More goodies and the QR code announcement sharing the other locations of the Yard Share event.

By the time we cleaned up around 8 Saturday evening, we’d cleared out about 75% of the items. Our next trip to Goodwill will be much easier.

Change in the Air

On a walk with Ajax the following morning, I realized I’d taken two months to follow through on an earlier commitment to bust clutter this summer. The external event with a deadline — a commitment to an outside party — helped get me to break through my inertia. By reducing clutter, I created additional space and capacity – both mentally and physically – for change. Another example of being in the preparation phase of change.

One of my daughter’s goals for the summer was to have a yard sale. While we didn’t make any money, she got the same experience putting it together, without the headache and hassle of having to sit still for eight hours or haggle over dimes and dollars. She’s going through massive changes as well. We all are.

Beautiful wildflowers on S. Tiger Loop.
Beautiful wildflowers on S. Tiger Loop.
More beautiful wildflowers on S. Tiger Loop.
More beautiful wildflowers on S. Tiger Loop.

Stages of Change: Change Capacity Assessment

The final piece of evidence that suggests I’m in the preparation stage is my recent results on Precision Nutrition’s Change Capacity Assessment. Feel free to take it yourself and see where you stand.

At the start of the summer, I scored “105/180” (the sum of all numbers, out of ten possible, on the 18 questions). Today I scored 128, an improvement of 23 points. While I may not be totally “ready, willing, and able” to make changes across the list of possibilities, in some areas, I am.

What changes are you in the midst of making? Have you been stuck for some time? If you score a 5 or lower on any question on the change assessment, take note. You may be facing strong resistance. Awareness is half of the battle.

The signpost leading to South Tiger Summit Trail. Which path will you take next?
The signpost leading to South Tiger Summit Trail. Which path will you take next?

Stages of Change

In fact, if you aren’t even acknowledging the need to change, you are still in the “pre-contemplation” stage. As you gather resources and get more comfortable with change in the “contemplation” stage, you may find that the cons outweigh the pros. In the “preparation” stage, you realize that the pros outweigh the cons and you get ready to take action.

In several areas, I’ve already headed into the “action” stage, such as launching my new coaching practice. It might be slow, but I’m laying the foundation. In others, like taking a technology or Chat GPT class, I’m back in pre-contemplation. And in others such as living gluten-free and sugar-free, I have reached “maintenance,” where the habit is well established with very few, if any, relapses. Be gentle with yourself and remind yourself that change does not happen linearly. It’s normal to wander all over the place before reaching the maintenance phase.

Ajax on our hike to Rachel Lake, getting a drink from the mountain stream.
Ajax on our hike to Rachel Lake, getting a drink from the mountain stream.

But the empty nest change? I will probably continue to weave in and out of it for the next three years. Change happens on its own timetable. If we have pressure to change — like the Yard Share deadline — we might change momentarily, but then return to old habits. The more we practice sustainable change, the better we can navigate the murky waters and the more confident we can be that the change will hold.

If you found this article intriguing, insightful, or useful, please share your comments in the space below. I love hearing from readers.

Paws and Reflections: 52 Rambles with Ajax

For anyone joining my blog after January 1, 2023, here’s a brief summary of our Active Ajax Adventures project. The quest: 52 unique adventures (one per week) with my 8-year-old Labraheeler and wonderful hiking partner, Ajax. The requirements: each green space ramble would last longer than an hour (and could include hikes), without repeats. I abbreviated the quest to “AAA”. The project was every bit as useful to me as the American Automobile Association is for drivers. Although I hesitate to do much with Chat GPT, I found one suggested AI headline to be appropriate: Paws and reflections. You be the judge whether it hits the mark.

Ajax heads off the trail for a drink of water near Snow Lake.
Ajax heads off the trail for a drink of water near Snow Lake.

Project Kick-off

In my second blog post of the year, I asked myself, “Why would anyone want to read about this?” Frankly, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about your intentions as long as they ENERGIZE YOU. By using a tool Precision Nutrition refers to as the “Five Whys“, I drilled down to my Big Reason for completing this project: “As a way to explore mindfulness, learn to become more fully present, and experience joy in tiny moments.” In short, I framed it as an experimental path toward contentment and well-being.

Happy cooled-off swimmers about to leave the buggy shores for the hot trip out of the basin at Snow Lake.
Happy cooled-off swimmers about to leave the buggy shores for the hot trip out of the basin at Snow Lake.

Paws and Reflections: the Murky Middle

We zipped along with our project for the first half of the year. But in early June, I almost gave up. I shared why in a post about feeling stuck called “Murky Middle: How to Follow Through on Intentions.” By modifying some of my own guidelines (after all, I made them up, I can change them!) I decided to take our rambles to the mountains. My energy immediately surged forward again.

The last quarter of the project has been my favorite. My teenage daughter, home for the summer, joined us for 9 hikes. Although my husband and I have been wrestling with “a partially empty nest” since fall 2022, it feels like having her back has erased our progress on that front. But our relationship is so much richer than it ever was. We can relate to each other as adults. I absolutely love this phase.

Clear, beautiful waters of Snow Lake as we climbed out of the basin in the heat of midday.
Clear, beautiful waters of Snow Lake as we climbed out of the basin in the heat of midday.

While we have stumbled over some obstacles, especially in Cougar Mountain’s Whittaker Wilderness, we have also discovered a common passion: visiting — and swimming in — alpine lakes.

The Joy of Alpine Lakes

Of the nine hikes Ajax and I have done with my daughter, most included lakes or waterfalls. The most memorable, Mirror, Snow, and Rachel Lakes, all involved swimming for at least half an hour.

Paws and Reflections: My daughter made her way out to this rock in the middle of Mirror Lake. She had a blast doing jumps and cannonballs into deep water. Ajax preferred to stay on shore and supervise.
Paws and Reflections: My daughter made her way out to this rock in the middle of Mirror Lake. She had a blast doing jumps and cannonballs into deep water. Ajax preferred to stay on shore and supervise.

Mirror Lake

The rutted gravel road to Mirror Lake trailhead was the most challenging for us to navigate this year. It easily added an extra half hour in the car, sometimes at 5-10 mph. However, the PCT is a beautiful trail, and we encountered very few hikers on a Thursday in July. I’d only been on this trail to Mirror Lake once before, in November of 2021 in snow, so it felt new to me.

On this particular hike, the biggest surprises were:

  • The duration of my daughter’s swim (nearly an hour)
  • How much improvement she’d made in strength and conditioning in only two weeks (either that, or she’s very motivated to see lakes!)
  • Not a peep out of Ajax, who waited patiently by the shore, with wet paws. He’ll go in if we carry him in but otherwise, he’s nothing like other Labrador Retrievers.
Deep, emerald waters of Mirror Lake along the Pacific Crest Trail. When I saw my daughter go in for a swim, I simply had to join her. A new mother-daughter tradition was launched.
Deep, emerald waters of Mirror Lake along the Pacific Crest Trail. When I saw my daughter go in for a swim, I simply had to join her. A new mother-daughter tradition was launched.

Snow Lake

Another fun trip was a midweek hike to Snow Lake with my college crewmate and her teenage son, a student at the University of Washington in my daughter’s year. This destination at Snoqualmie Pass is incredibly popular, especially since some of the water-play trailheads along I-90 are closed this year for construction and trail maintenance. While we enjoyed spending two hours at the lake, I worried about how Ajax would do going back.

The rocky south-facing slope heats up significantly in the middle of the day. When I noticed Ajax overheating, I handed my car keys to my friend to get the air conditioning going in the car. My daughter and I slowed our pace and coaxed Ajax out. He’s done a phenomenal job this year, but he’s not getting any younger.

Paws and reflections for my fearless hiking companion. He loves watching critters and doesn't seem to be bothered by bugs.
Paws and reflections for my fearless hiking companion. He loves watching critters and doesn’t seem to be bothered by bugs.

Paws and Reflections: Where’s the Finish Line?

A few days later, I stalled again. I really wanted to finish our Ramble project with a special, meaningful, new-to-me or favorite hike, but most of the ones on my list were either too long for my daughter or too hot for Ajax.

Rachel Lake

Finally, on Thursday, August 3, we found the perfect destination: Rachel Lake. Not only were there relatively few people, but the first 2.75 miles are lovely, rambling through meadows and forest along Canyon Creek with plenty of wonderful photo opportunities. It took us four hours to reach the lake (and two hours out) because we kept finding places to stop.

The author takes a super-quick dip in Rachel Lake, the coldest alpine lake we've visited this summer. The breeze didn't help matters any.
The author takes a super-quick dip in Rachel Lake, the coldest alpine lake we’ve visited this summer. The breeze didn’t help matters any.

The trail was not without its trials. My daughter had a boot mishap at the second stop. While interesting, the copious roots, stones, and route-finding issues on the trail between mile 3 and the lake (a gain of 1200 feet in 1.25 miles) frustrated my daughter, and the steep steps challenged Ajax. The horseflies were annoying. I was the only one who had brought food.

Repeat in the Future?

When I asked my daughter if she would consider going back, she gave me an emphatic no. The steep jumps left my dog’s tail tucked and droopy for a good two days. Can a dog break his tail? Where was all his energy? I might be tempted to return in a month to see the fall foliage, feast on ripe blueberries, and add an extra two miles to see the view from Alta Peak. But I’d be going by myself.

Ajax and I wait for Brooke to come up from her swim. Rachel Lake is beautiful but cold.
Ajax and I wait for Brooke to come up from her swim. Rachel Lake is beautiful but cold.

Ramble Project Takeaways

This project was wonderful in so many ways, but I’ll share three highlights. First, it got me out of my comfort zone, visiting new places. I’d become a creature of habit the past three years, going to the same places each year. This year Ajax and I expanded our repertoire by a full eighteen locations, many of which I now suggest to clients who are looking for less-populated hiking trails.

Second, it made me want to continue to explore new dog-friendly locations. There are so many wonderful places to visit in the Pacific Northwest that are not overrun by people. What’s more, my daughter wants to keep building her stamina and tolerance for elevation gain so we can visit harder-to-access alpine lakes such as Blanca Lake whenever it re-opens. We might even try some backpacking next summer!

Paws and Reflections: a mother and daughter selfie at Rachel Lake while Ajax rested in the shade. I am thrilled beyond belief that Ajax and I have been able to add her presence to our last nine rambles.
Paws and Reflections: a mother and daughter selfie at Rachel Lake while Ajax rested in the shade. I am thrilled beyond belief that Ajax and I have been able to add her presence to our last nine rambles.

Finally, knowing how close I was to quitting the ramble project in June, I’m delighted that we kept going. By doing some “paws and reflections” I’ve come to see just how fabulous these last nine hikes have been with my two favorite hiking partners. Completing my intended objective feels great. And I have a new hiking partner, at least for a few more weeks.